That Girl's Blog

2009-10-21T19:04:00.002+08:00

Pass the clouds,
I see the horizon.
Red and gold,
how glorious a kind of passion.

Dyed the sea in brilliant hues,
as the sun bled in times due.
An honorable retreat,
a favorable greed.

In time what's once was,
will no longer be.
A new spell cast upon,
the day's light; gone.

All but is a new darkness,
a gleaming hook clinging onto it's vastness.
Casting a shadowy glow,
over the resting souls.

Sleep well,
I shall watch over.
As slumber seizes tired eyes,
tomorrow's Sun will eventually rise.

X
Fangs.

2009-10-18T21:37:00.002+08:00

Its been long.

Gosh, its been so long...i havent written a proper post in AGES. i like lost interest in writing? maybe i guess. maybe not. i really dont know. who actually reads my blogs anyways...like its been dead for so long...
but like...theres so much happening in life but i really dont have the energy to write them down. since, firstly. honestly. who cares about my life...i know its like a diary but this is the exact reason y i dont keep a journal, well, cuz nobody is gonna see it and i trust that i remember the events. anyways. i dont see anything interesting to blog bout.

but just a quick shout out! i need help!!!
to those who actually read my blog and are awesome guitarists, i need help! i need one of u to ACCOMPANY ME TO FIND A GUITAR! tuesday would be good if u guys read it by then. i have a meeting with a guy whose selling me one at 7. so, if one of u can, PLEASE let me know ASAP!!! thank you!

Strum away
XxX

Baby its over.

2009-10-15T18:03:00.002+08:00

Once and Over.

omgomgomgomg! its OVER?! ahhh hahahha! wheeeee. gosh im so happy.
but now im so worried bout my results. eff it. anyways. i spent my today out with velvet and mat. haha first time hanging with them outside. pretty cool. sadly plaza is so utterly boring...we watched surrogates. like wtf. it was good. and sad but the ending but so retarded. ugh. anyways. oh i called up the guy selling me the guitar today. yea. whhe. i think i can get it soon! haha.

ok i really dont have much to blog bout cuz like...i dont know. maybe i have lost my blogging touch...but i dont feel like writing...so laters.

In and Out.
XxX

2009-10-09T15:21:00.002+08:00

Tell me about forgiveness.

ok i owe u guys this post. i didnt blog yesterday cuz i was studying for english. ok i just didnt feel like it. but anyways. my new phone is amazingly CUTE! haha it gets a little laggy from time to time. but its so cute! i love the full QWERTY pad! wheee. i will post some pics and stuff like later. anyways.

i have lit and chinese on monday. i think i will fail chinese...im like studying lit now. thats y this post is so short...eng today was ok i guess. i just thought the whole essay inccident would ULTRA ironic if our comps get read out. heh. anyways. the compre was kinda tough...really)):

Go fuck yourself.
XxX

GOSH!

2009-10-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

Last stretch

omgosh much? i just ordered my new LG viewty in pink of that stupid singtelshop.com thingy. like seriously. could it be worse?! i took so bloody long. like 2 hrs, 5 calls to customer serv. and like FINALLY did the staff help me. like frigging eff off singtel.

but wadever. the staff that help me was so nice. she did EVERYTHING for me. like THANK GOD? gosh anyways. it only comes on thursday? another wtf?! but fine. better than nth.

its not a new phone. its actually quite old. but seriously, i think its like an amazing phone. prada phone without the logo with even more apps? gosh. i cnt wait!! and its pink! Valeta said pink was an ahlian colour. like wadevs! i think its cute. and so do alot of ppl...

i cnt wait!! my current phone is already DYING on me literally. gosh i just realised i havent been blogging much. i have been so BUSY! studying ok. i swear i do...
Mats coming over tmr to study! wheee. gonna be fun? she can finally see koko and so cani finaly get help with lit and sci. goshgosh.

ok. i gotta go. i wanna do lit and maybe finally get to rest early tonight.

p.s. i dont think i will be blogging much for the neext few days till the papers are over. prolly. anyways. wish me luck. i'll update again when i get my phone. kaykays loves

Walk the extra mild.
XxX

be original

2009-09-27T00:00:00.002+08:00

you make me sick.

God is my sis annoying or what. honestly. she needs to get her own life and NAME. like seriously? does she HAVE to copy wadever that is mine? god, its sickening. i feel like killing her. all the time? ugh! like seriously. its SO pathetic how she tries so hard to imitate me. like please much? i hate younger sisters. she makes me sick.

i could puke all over ur face.
XxX

wheeee.

2009-09-25T17:22:00.003+08:00

write to me.

Heyhey! haha goshgosh. is renee sick or what. boysboys, according to renee and my awesome ice-cream eating/licking skills, i am apparently amazing at giving a bj. LOL?! hahahah. i tempt and seduce you men? omg is was SOOOO gross pls! hahahah but so funny. imagine eating cone ice cream and having renee point out what we look like we are doing and if we are good. thank god we didnt get popcicles? hehehe. ;))

anyways. i finished all my weekend worth of homework yesterday!!!!!! wheeeeeee! hahaha im so happy. i am left with pure revision. which i am gonna start tonight. cuz i deserve a break from craming last night and yesterday((:!

i still dont have much to write just that i WANT the papers to be over)):sobsob. god i still think im gonna fail! dammitttt. heard geog is gonna be hard.)): sci,math and eng is getting better. but i have lit, chi and geog to worry bout. i can pass geog without studying. so if i study. i can actually do well. but how bout lit and chinese?! at least lit not that bad luh. i can pass with quite ok marks. but if i wanna get into double?! GOSH! n i am going to fail chinese. HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?! OMFG!. ok i better go study it now.

freak out.
XxX

For you out there.

2009-09-23T21:19:00.003+08:00

This post goes out to all you people.

heyhey. gosh. mr poon would give me like 21-22 for my compo below? and its just for lang. he says the content doesnt seem right and its too drama for his taste. like wthhhh. fine. i thought i'd do better for content.

anyways. this post shall contain my well wishes for those lovers out there. hehe

Especially Ryan and Cheryl who just celebrated their 15th month yesterday! omgomg?! so long. i would consider them practically married!!! hhaha. so to you two. I admire you lasting love and congrats!!!

And my dear friend Aidan. who just got with the girl he has been crushing on! haha i think new relationships are sweet as ever. so, to you, all the best and congrats!!!((:

This saturday will be my parents 16th annual anniversary. lollol. the 26th of september...some how thinking of thier anniversary really reminds me of something, or some one. last yr this time. i was...well everything has changed. so anyways.

OH and nic. who got asked out by her crush. hehe good luck to you too girl!! seems like the world is falling in love and glad to see your not left out.((: hehehe.

i wish life could just stay this way. everyone is happy, everyone has someone. nobody is hurt, nobody is crying...sighsigh.

i want world peace and happiness as much as the next shopaholic. but i hafta study.
i have a chinese compo to write. so...spread the love! and like they say, love is the closest thing we have to magic. so BELIEVE! byebye.

Believe in Magic
XxX

2009-09-20T10:53:00.004+08:00

Kindness Does Not Pay.

There was once a boy of a mere age of twelve. He lived with his father in a manor out in the country. A beautiful place it was, fields of glorious flowers flooded the grass plains in spring, a sweet scent always lingered in the wind. In winter, the nearby lake was turned to crystal, icicles formed where the rapid stood.

A pity there was only the two of them; the boy’s mother had died at child birth, leaving him to his father. An honorable man he was, a general who conquered every battle, who killed for victory. He taught the boy everything he needed to know to survive in this harsh world of reality. The boy did not need school, no. Not when he had his father to teach him, from basic education to morals and values.

One lesson he could never forget, was during one summer when his father had thought him how kindness did not pay. He had said that kindness did not make a soldier, it made one weak. It made one love, and to love was to destroy. A cruel and heartless man indeed, but it was because of his strong personality and unfeeling nature that made him the successful man he was today.

That very day, the boy’s father brought him a new pet dog and let it loose to run free and wild around the massive manor. What he did not tell the boy was that the dog was bread to be a fighter, the most aggressive of them all. He then demonstrated to the boy by letting the dog attack himself, a savage lunge forward and the dog was biting and clawing at it's master. But before he could let it harm him, his fist flew and met the dog with such great impact it sent it flying back. A lone whimper escaped the dogs throat as it landed, hard, on the ground.

He than let the dog attack the boy. But the boy did not retort, he did not fight the dog, instead he let himself be a chew toy to the vicious canine. It was a horrible experience, as he recalled. His father had explained to him, after his wounds were treated, that it was a harsh world. If he were to be softened by kindness, he would never survive. His exact words were, “It is a dog eat dog world out there, if you were kind and softhearted you would have been eaten up, just as you almost were. I on the other hand fought the dog, I did not need kindness, I only needed survival."

His father’s words burned into the boy’s mind, a wave of emotions washed over him as he retired for the day. To feel angry, hurt or simply indifferent, though given his young age, he had understood that he was only human. It was normal and most likely expected that he felt something, though not from his father.

That had sparked determination in him, he promised himself that he would take care of and train the dog, show it love and kindness. No matter how long it took, he will show his father that no, kindness may not pay, in a sense that it did not directly benefit the doer. But it will eventually come back to the doer, in a form of hope or achievement.

Summers came and summers went by. Eventually one summer came when the boy had turned that once uncontrollable and monstrous dog into a man’s best friend, a friendly companion and a trusted partner. Simply with the power of kindness, love and hope. He then turned to his father and said, “Look Father, kindness does pay!”

Lol this is my english compo. i posted it here cuz im really proud of it and i thought the lesson would be good for everyone. i got the inspiration from the series i was reading, The Mortal Instruments and www.givesmehope.com it is an amazing website. it made me cry...so if you are feeling down or suicidal, go to GMH. I hope it will give you guys hope, like how it made my day.

Word of the day: Hope.
XxX

lollies

2009-09-17T19:02:00.002+08:00

Don't drag me down with you.

LOL!!! haha THATS the stupid assumption song my sis showed me. honestly. its quite true. its not at all dirty and was not meant to be but because of my polluted minds...we think it is. haha i thought its pretty cute. n funny. hehe((:

oh btw, i changed my MSN. FINALLY much? its fangsxoxo@hotmail.com if you havent added me yet. thankies.

lol cca today was strange i guess. i must say, it was quite fun. better than doing nth. so anyways.

i actually have like clear silicone stickers at home. those that ppl print stuff on and stick n their phones n blah. i think it'll be tre cute if i do some for my tablet!! wheeee. n maybe my phone too. but my phone is black. well, i'll try for my tablet first. but not now. i dont have time!! sobs.

ok i really dont have much to blog bout. my life is extremely boring right now. maybe untill the papers are over. ugh. they are too soon. i have about 20days left. goshgosh. i think im gonna fail my chinese.
wish me luck though?

okay. i hafta do stupid D&T...ugh.

LaffoutLaud
XxX

Once pure.

2009-09-14T16:49:00.003+08:00

A bloody dagger handed to her, a taunting temptation, gleaming with darkness so brilliant, such sheer desire. The blade, dyed a scarlet red, shall never be cleansed of it's sinister deed. She's just a girl, don't taint her innocent virtue with unspoken lies. Don't steal away her last breathe, as she rests at night. Not a drop of blood shall smear her palms, with evidence of such a deed.

Soft to the touch, skin so clear, so white. Clean of bloody reminder, though a new found hatred whelms inside. The heart that once loved, once felt, now surfeited with an anguish too pure. The hatred pulsing away into depths so dark even the blackest of shadows seem incompetent. A depth so deep oceans seem shallow.

"Hate, my child, is in you, borne to the darkness, shed your childish skin and grip the blade which honors you. Drenched in blood none other than yours, the deed is yours." A soulless whisper rang at the back of her mind, reminding her, taunting her.

Spiral down into temptation, will she, humanity so easily lost.

comex.

2009-09-13T16:08:00.002+08:00

snapsnap.

hey, i just came back from the comex thingy. ugh im so disappointed! i didnt get to buy my new phone! i wanted either Nokia 5800 or 5730. which is like a xpressmusic in a form of a sidekick. so cute. i want!!! ugh sadsad. looks like i have to look out for the deals elsewhere.

god im tired. i just came back from a night out with my family. at the park. some concert for old ppl. man it was...quiet. haha like thier so. un-enthusiastic!._.
but i guess it was ok. lots of ppl into photography was there. snapping pics here and there. i wanna camwhore...i actually really love photography too. but no cam. so no pics. sadly. mum said she would sponsor me n my sis if we picked it up...but if i got to choose between guitar or photography. i would pick guitar. which, my parents said, to keep me committed to it, i have to pay for it. gosh!? fine. either that or i wait till christmas. hmph. which would you suggest. anyways.

tommorow is start of school. yay? i guess. but its also. SICKENING. i dont wanna wake up early! sobsobsob. ugh. so i guess thats all i have for today.

i want a new phone. and i want things to go back to how they were. maybe like two weeks back would be good.

Forgiveness' sake.
XxX

Flashing Cameras.

2009-09-10T22:57:00.002+08:00

Give me Fierce.

heyhey. gosh havent blogged in a while. but so anyways. i was watching top model with my mum. yeayea it was totally sexy. but the thing is. my mum offered to let me take up some basic modeling training/classes. just for fun! omg sounds totally amazing. i wanna try! i have nth to loose anyways. my mum actually offered me when i was younger too. like in p4 or 5 she asked if i wanted. i wasnt really interested. cuz i was scared. but now! omg sounds way cool. whheee.

oh and i am looking for a cheap deal for a guitar. maybe a hundred or less. it doesnt have to be that good. cuz its just a starter. in case i loose commitment. so anyways. if u guys have anything good to recommend or like a second hand guitar at a low price. drop me a text. thanks.

ugh i cnt believe the hols are almost ending. so sad. n i barely did anything this hol. other than study, and read. n write? so anyways. i have skl tmr. some sci lesson blah. wadever. im tired...n msn is not working. so annoying.

i would stay and chat. but i have other stuff to do. and somehow im loosing the blogging edge again. like i want to write more but at the same time i dont want to let too much out...its frustrating.

so i'll leave the cameras flashing.

Ciao.
XxX

Back.

2009-09-09T12:06:00.003+08:00

Tell me the un-truth.

Hey totally sorry. i have been missing in action for like what. 5 days. so sryyy to those who tried to contact me. i didnt have my tablet or my phone. till today. so anyways. i really dont have much to blog bout. but this hol seems to have less homework than i thought would. so um, yea? ok i m starving. i will blog when inspiration stricks? im just bored n life is boring. n well, yea.

When was life like that.
XxX

Forget me.

2009-09-03T08:26:00.006+08:00

A sweet stench hangs in the air,
a familiar stranger.
A piercing wind from the South,
a still reminder.

I will draw your silhouette,
as a black shadow casts.
I will forget,
and hope not to remember.

If words held colours
and voices motion.
Engulfed in expression,
save me emotion.

I would see your words,
a lure of reds and blues.
Dancing upon my soundless soul,
lift me from this timeless curse .

Save me guilt,
save me reminder.
Save me,
from this endless desire.

Don't pretend,
like things just aren't.
Don't pretend,
you don't see.

I shed,
a tear or two.
Wasted, i see
upon this trivial matter.

Do forget,
do leave behind.
The memories of times,
though once of ties.

The white flag soars,
high in our skies.
I surrender,
I surrender the times.

Shyat.

2009-08-31T22:06:00.005+08:00

Don't ever.

Call me crazy, call me blind. i decided to take down that post. thanks to Joel who talked me into it. so now, i cnt even post what i want on my blog anymore?

wadever. honestly im slightly frustrated cuz i have freedom of speech. but i guess i was being emotional when i posted it. like 100% heart n 0% mind? so yea, i didnt realise it could lead to potential probs n blah. which i totally dont need right now. so yea. byebye post. the ppl it was dedicated to read it already so yea. it served its purpose.

ok i really dont feel like posting but since im already here? might as well update on my day. i honestly cnt say much. like even if i wanted to? i dont know. im just too frustrated right now. n about many things too.

ugh. forget it. i will be back soon.

What is wrong with me.
XxX

confusion

2009-08-29T17:43:00.002+08:00

Hate me.

hey. yesterday was fun. was hanging abit before heading to Jade's party with Jo. haha the party was better than i expected. i guess? i dont know how i should feel. i made lots of new friends! tho i can hardly remember their names...n who they r. but hey. it was fun. can always ask Jo again anyways. it was at Civil Service club. they booked the entire bowling alley for the party. it was...heh i know i would nvr get that. black lights, music. it was...just like Jonas Brother's bowling party. im serious. she even had a JB cake. so anyways. i had fun. sadly i wasnt able to camwhore. so no pics for u. sry.

today is so boring. my mum went out of town ytd. to join my dad in HK for a bit. before coming back together for my bro's bday. i spent most of today in bed, till almost 2 actually. the rest of today watching GG in hopes of cheering myself up. but guess what. it just made me more depressed. ugh. the whole drama thing, for some reason i can really relate to it. its like it has been woven into my life. slowly over time. it gets...overwhelming.

yesterday...was really something. i should be excited but for some reason im really confused...like i dont know how i should feel anymore. can i trust myself...with things as sensitive as this. i want to stop. how can i trust myself to continue and just do wadever. what if something happens. im scared.
and another thing. i dont feel like im giving myself enough respect. i feel like its slowly slipping through my fingers. i want others to respect me but i cnt even do it for myself. i really dont know. i really dont think i can.
what is happening to me. since when was i like that, since when did i change. im sorry...

everything, this, is killing me. since when did life become so confusing. just as i thought things were settled. something else comes up. what do you want from me. i dont have anymore to give. it maybe my own fault n doing but do u think i enjoy having to be like this. it kills me, inside out, slowly eating away at the edges. soon enough i would be the Blair Wardolf of reality. cold, heartless, bitchy, scandalous and i have to admit. the slightest bit slutty. thanks. so much.

Why cnt life go back to how it was. is it so hard, just to gain back everything...

Save me.
XxX

Answer my prayer.

2009-08-26T18:54:00.003+08:00

Please Listen.

Hey my dears. things do seem like they r looking up. i know it gets cheesy. n totally cliche but. i am really grateful to those who have been really nice to me the past few weeks. those who care n offered a listening ear. i guess the past few weeks have been pathetic for me. totally lonely n blah. but these ppl really came thru, so thank you. especially Jae Young, Mathilda and Zenice. letting me hang out with u guys abit. i know i can get annoying but really, thanks. alot. Love You All.

well, im glad its all over now. i dont have to worry anymore. and its really not as hard as i thought. i dont need luck to take me thru this, i got thru it with faith. even when placed in the wrong ppl, it brought me thru. but i couldnt have done it without some ppl. Joel, thanks for being there for me. nagging, scolding and taking all my shit. hehe but hey, im stronger than i thought? n Jer, for actually thinking it will get better. but still if i did have anyone to complain to, it would be u. Jiu, for trying to reason with me n trying to cheer me up on my tagboard. n those who sincerely cared n Chi Han. for taking my shit too, no matter what. thanks you guys. loves yas.

ok i know i might be blowing it outa proportion abit. a lil too drama? but i really do appreciate everything all of u have done for me.

So with love I sign off here.
XxX

Drive me up the wall.

2009-08-24T20:39:00.002+08:00

Go ahead and judge me.

omg i seriously cant take it anymore. so much for 'understanding' family, that wont judge u and friends that 'care'. seriously. what m i supposed to do. y is it that my own FAMILY wont stop judging me, stereotyping me. yea im gonna be a failure in life and a big time trouble kid to my granddad. the uncontrollable rebel to my dad n prolly the loser with no life to my mum. yea thanks so much. its fucking killing me. y is it that I take the rap for EVERYTHING. that I am the one that HAS to screw up, its only expected that I mess up in life. even when I am not the one in the wrong. seriously. so much for non-judging n accepting!? FUCK LIFE.

i hate the fucking culture of parents being bias, oldest always blamed just simply cuz im older! if ppl havent noticed. its hard for the oldest child. the younger ones have them as a guide, whether or not to follow the footsteps. how bout me? im always the first to go thru things, whether i screw up or not, everyone else AFTER me is expected to do so much better. n they actually get credited for it while im not, y? well the standard is not known, so no matter how well u do, we wont know how it is compared to others. yea. sure wadever. so whats gonna happen to me. i have no one to take as a guide, no one to lead me n try and figure things out before i step into them. n yet i m holding such expectations. i feel like crying ok. my life isnt screwed up, but it could be so much better. but i wouldnt know right. i wouldnt know what is out there for me, what to expect, what not to get my hopes up on. i have to go thru everything first.

i just cnt stand how my parents r so...c'mon my dad stereotypes me, my mum judges me. what more can i say. n u ask WHY ON EARTH i dont go to them with my probs. yea, thanks so much. what would my parents know. mum the only child, dad the youngest. what would they know about being the oldest. what would they know about not being bias. i hate talking to my mum now. even if we do, its not much bout my life. i hate it when my parents try so hard just to try n find out bout my life. to the extend of having 'spies' on FB and creating msn. what would they know, like there would be the SLIGHTEST possibily they will understand. wadever, everyone is a teenager ONCE in their life. but FACE IT, times r different, things change. im not the kinda of teenager my mum would have been. heck! im the opposite. my mum was a LOSER in her teenage years. n she expects me to live by what SHE thinks is normal. whatever that is not in line of getting a President Scholarship is considered NO LIFE. like PLEASE. sorry to dissapoint. I AM NOT GOING TO BE UR PRESIDENT SCHOLAR. i m not going to live that BORING life u live n wanting something different and something that is actually part of my dreams is not NOT HAVING A LIFE!

i'd like to emphasise too that I AM MY OWN PERSON. like it or not. i will not live by what u think is considered having a life. since ur life is SO OUT OF LINE! and the last think i need is for YOU to judge me. when i asked for an APOLOGY i meant it. thanks for laughing it off.

Double F.
XxX

Moneh moneh moneh

2009-08-23T20:36:00.002+08:00

I heart Shopping!

HEYHEY! haha today was awesomely fun. went out with vid for a while before dance. u have no idea how many good deals i got today! i got like 2 bottles of nail polish, a dress, some personal stuff, Adidas deo, cab ride and starbucks for under $50! haha im so happy. gosh man. like seriously. i got the dress from max and more for like $15! so cheap! there was this pair of shoes at Charles and Keith that was like $15 too. but they only had size 36. omg they were so PRETTY! similar to my blue heals with the strap across, which i wore today. man my feet hurt. but yea what a pity!!! ugh. so anyways. oh btw, we did all that under 3 hrs. an hour at Orchard Central, an hour at starbucks and the last at wisma. omg such a pity we forgot to take some pics but today was TRE fun!

but seriously. i gotta say, orchard central is kinda a dissapointment. i thought it would have been bigger...not taller. but WIDER? it was so cram! kinda resemples Far East or mayba haji lane with all those young shops. but seriously. i dont think i would shop there... there were some nice shops but they were like those taitai shops. ugh. too expensive.

i think wisma is still the best! i shall remain a loyal Wisma shopper. hehe((:

i cnt believe i didnt do a single piece of work over the weekend. i shall cram them NOW. ughhhh.

oh i bought some more books. city of bones, city of ashes and city of glass. its like a series. sounds damn nice so i just bought the whole thing. i hate buying one book at a time. takes tooo long. n so troublesome. what if i cnt find the book anymore. gosh.

okok i have to go shower n start on my work now. loves ya.

Retail Therapy.
XxX

Money Spender.

2009-08-19T16:50:00.003+08:00

Flip the page, it's time for a new chapter.

E-learning is officially over. yay? wadever. its stupid anyways. i just liked the idea of staying home. but im DYING to get out. i NEED to spend money. i feel sooo emo. ok not really just bored n depressed. i want to go out on friday but its more out of desperation than anything else. really. so lets see. if i can sneak out just for a bit. maybe coffee at coro? since starbucks opened there. its so much easier. or shopping some where. i dont care i just want to get out.

for a strange reason, i miss dad. it's been about 3 weeks since i have seen him, his coming home for brother's 9th birthday. it's not like we talk alot, but some how i just want my daddy. whether is it i really do miss him or because i just want to talk to some one. tho i should think the latter.

Even the familiarity of the pages can no longer comfort me for long. i remember mentioning once that books is where i seek shelter, away from the harsh reality of the world around me. but even that no longer provides the same sense of escape. i want to get away. i need to get out. staying put just makes me think, think about back then. the awkward truth seems cruel but is still the truth. if only lies could be my heroine.
I want to forget. to leave it all behind, since returning is just another impossibility. i want to start over, try again. but every time i try, every time i think i have gotten it, that im closer to what i sort out for, i fall right back down. not because of my own wistful thinking but because there will always be a reminder. a harsh reminder that it will never be this easy to change. those awkward moments or careful words, they shall be the reminders.
Time heal all wounds, why cant time just pass already. i want time to fly, yet i am afraid i will regret, i hadn't grasp the opportunities when staring at me in the face. but i tried. i know i did. stupid mistakes will always be typical for those of age close to mine but if regret is something i can't live with...yet mistakes abundant.
Acceptance is what i always called for, cast, i would think it much worse. As i will myself to step forward, leave the soulless whispers, leave the murdering stares. i will leave the past in yesterday and not be brought along with it.

OK. internal pep talk. sorry bout that.

Will me forth.
XxX

Right Round Tease.

2009-08-16T19:29:00.004+08:00

Bookworm?

heyhey. just got back from dance. today was ok i guess. totally boring? i wanna watch GG againnn. dance was good today, finished up rightround honestly, i thought it looks more like a tease but its hott. damn easy to dance. n totally feminine. oh n bumped into samsam at attitude. yea she was there for rehersal. man im jealous. i want to take part in the concert tooo! ugh. too bad i got a new teacher right bout the worst time. pfftt.

anyways. today is ultra boring... im so sick of those anonymous, emo posts. like seriously. wadever. i have nth to blog bout. but i have so much to complain about. one would be the stupid E-learning prep work. ughhh. so much. n i forgot to being back my math txbk. so smart. ugh. oh n twitter is being annoying. i cnt update my status. like isnt that the point of TWITTER! wtf. fine. im gonna leave it for a while. better get better soon or im like abandoning. honestly. its not as fun as fb. wonder y its such a big thing now.

omg my mum is being so annoying. she wont let me buy books. i have to borrow them. well, for one, i like to keep my books. n she should be happy im reading n totally not gaming! like seirously. its constructive n helps me improve my writing. god. she's annoying. like i hate the library. i have to return the books, look for them n its not even guaranteed i can find them. so annoying. wadever. i'll go buy some other time.

i want 2 series... one about witchcraft with is so cool the cover is so pretty and another one about some freaky dark scene in new york. so cool! but i did get ONE book. like its so thin not even a serious. how long m i supposed to be entertained for. the cover's realllyyyy creepy but its The Prophecy Of The Sisters.

ok dinner time.
im hungry

LoveLoveLove.
XxX

Blinded

2009-08-15T17:30:00.003+08:00

Blinded by Pride, Ignorance and Superficiality. wow, wonder why i lost, or YOU lost.

anyways. ugh. i feel so shitty today. i wanna go out! i just spent the entire afternoon watching GG with my sis. yea...n i feel extremely bored n restless now. i should get started on the E-Learning thing but seriously not in the mood. ugh. i wanna go out! for dinner, shopping, wadever. i dont wanna stay home...

oh btw, i just created a Twitter. haha i dont know y. iw as bored. it think its kinda retarded. like boring?? ugh..wadever. i'll just keeep it. who knows. like its just statuses. y would one like publish thier life on the internet. ok i already do. but not like every 5 mins? wadever. add me. http://twitter.com/Fangsxxx

ok im so bored. i'll go. blog too much nowadays.

loves yas.
XxX

Haji Lane♥

2009-08-14T22:10:00.009+08:00

Social Issues Will Never Rest, Please Give A Thought.

Heyhey! omg today was SO FUN! haha went out to Bugis n Haji Lane with my sis!!! omg i love that place. now. haha we got like lots of camwhore shots but she's like lazy to upload some...ugh.

anyways! i'll post the cuter ones here. n u can check the rest out on my facebook!

so anyways. i think today was the best day of this entire week. not only did i get my retail therapy. i also got my share of cam whoring. haha. i bought like 2 new pairs of reallllyyyy cute boyshorts. haha. yea. one with the flag of USA and the otehr is SUPERMAN! wheee~ haha((:!

okok im not gonna post that much so here r the pics!

Hair Flip!Woots woots. SEXY!Nice window?JUMP!I'll admit this is slightly slutty...

Laf Out Laud

2009-08-14T09:06:00.002+08:00

Not Worth It.

hey. ok im blogging from class. honestly. no idea y. but i just felt like blogging. im so bored...so yea. my CTs are officially over! yay? wadever. im hanging out ltr. heading to haji lane with my sis. haha that should be fun. i wanted to aska few other ppl along but didnt get to talk to them. hhm nvm. hey CHREYL if ur reading. we should totally hang out some time. n VIDYA too. like maybe next week should be good.((: i wanna go to new places. not like orchard road n stuff. but places like Arab Street. Haji Lane. City Plaza? ok i wont go there without jer or jo. cuz honestly, that place kinda freaks me out. i wanna go back to bugis street too. the things there r actually really cheap. n some r cute! so that one, jer has to bring me.

i dunno y im on such a shopping rage. i like need retail therapy or something. so yea, n since i have extra cash, y not. its like the PERFECT excuse to waste money on stupid things. as long as im happy. ok sry sounds damn bratty. but who caressss.

ok i know haji lane is filled with ultra cool shops n stuff. but i have like zero items on my to buy list...i dont wanna end up window shopping! well, we can always ask mum if we can head to bugis for dinner. hmm. sounds good aye. n maybe catch a movie? i dont know what movie to watch tho...heard G.I.Joe was good. but like. its action...not my kinda show..

oh i know what i want to buy. i should look for a nice new dress to go out in next week. hmm new cloths always made me feel way better. ohoh. n maybe some more smexy boyshorts. hehe. im like crazy arnt i...who cares. its fun being crazy. oh another crazy idea. i wanna try Vloging. ok totally wacky. but hey, i honestly think it'll be a good idea! will start today? sadly i forgot to bring my cammy. so have to use my phone. sucks. but wadever. theres always a first to everything, so might as well!((:

okok i think i have to go? i have nth much to blog bout anymore anyways. so yea. LOVES YA.

btw, since im so free now, im open for hang outs n what not. i wanna try to build back my now limp social life. ok superficial. but hey, i want new friends(:

Fresh.
XxX

White Flag.

2009-08-13T18:09:00.003+08:00

If it's an apology u guys want. u have it.
Im sorry.
But not for whatever u want me to apologize for.
Which i do not know what anyways.
But cuz I give up.
I really do hope you're satisfied.

Voices.

2009-08-13T15:59:00.004+08:00

I tried.

god. finally. all over. except for stupid D&T tmr. yea, i did privatize my blog for author's only, but thats cuz ppl have been dissing me for what i write. ok not really like bitch me. but u get the point. like if u dont like what i write y do u readddd. i find it like so super insulting. like ur insulting my opinions and views. wadever. im over that now.

so i guess im returning it to public as i learned a couple of things. that it is my blog. i can post what i want, but with some discretion. that i shouldnt be afraid of what ppl say. even if its really nasty things. those ppl can go and die. cuz i am who i am. ok cheesy. but yes, i will try not to have other ppl's comments bother me anymore. but i am serious bout the whole celeb blogger thing. isit like fun? being a star blogger. ok maybe i just like the attention. but hey, everybody does. dont deny it. hehe.

ok this week has been probably the worse week of my entire life. i had CTs...2 paper each day. not that bad really. my friends weren't talking to me. for some reason i m totally clueless bout. my bestfriend. prolly hates my guts, and again, for a reason i am not aware of. so yea, pretty much the suckiest week of my life. i havent blogged about this...for many reasons. i admit i was afraid of appearing self pitiful. i felt that it will give ppl another reason to diss my writing. and lastly, if my friends are reading...i, didnt want to give them another reason to be pissed at me.

well, all knows i seek comfort in my blogging. so today, i have decided to let it all out. i wont care about what ppl say anymore. the most i'll do is either stop for good or go back to personal blogging. so anyways. i really dont know why she hates my guts. she wont even talk to me, reply my text, msn msgs. well, she wont even look at me in skl. what more anything else. it true this is a sight i have like NVR seen before. i nvr thought she would cut all ties with me. i didnt know some one could hate another this much. esp since i am/was her best friend. like we've known each other for so long. is it even possible to turn to hate like within 2 days. yea i know she was pissed at me like for a while. over the last week end. i didnt know y either so i found out.

some of you prolly realised that i have taken down 2 past posts. in which one was the one bout the crescent scandal. i know i was just being superficial n totally bitchy when i posted it. n i both sincerely n pubically apologize for that. to all that i offended, and for degrading my own school. i guess it was kinda stupid. so yea. sorry.

so back to my point. i thought things were good, i thought u know, they were back to normal. but i guess i was wrong. its like i dont even have 'best friends' anymore. at least im learning to face my fear?

i really dont understand. i really dont know how u feel. i really dont know anything anymore. so yes. im completely clueless. i want to know. im not willing to give it up just like that. talk to me.

If you cared.
XxX

Once upon a time.

2009-08-12T14:48:00.004+08:00

You left me in yesterday.

hey...todays paper were ok i guess. sci was quite easy lit was spastic luh. my hands hurt...)):

i feel so distracted. i dont wanna study..hmm. i feel extremely emo again. and for some reason the song Avalanche really suits right now. its a nice song. really nice. i love marie.

i have so much to say, but the words seem to choke me. what happened to me. what happened to everything. i should know by now that life is not set in stone, things can change in a minute, a second. i know i write my story and life's how i make it. but somethings are not as easy to change. i've always wanted to turn back time. but if i could, would i not learn from my present.

im really lost n confused. i really want to talk to u. i wish i was brave enough, i wish i was different.

Will we pull through.
XxX

2 Down.

2009-08-11T16:52:00.004+08:00

If it's not what you want to see,

Hey, todays papers were ok i guess. understood eng...chi can eff off. it was ok but i cnt believe i forgot everything. yea thanks. that'll help so much.

im studying Lit now, god u have no idea how long it took me to type n print new notes. ugh. so anyways...

i really dont feel like blogging. dont even know y im here. i feel like hiding under my blanket n crying my heart out. ugh whats the point, my eyes will just be sooo sore. i wouldnt mind not ever coming out. even if it means missing out on sales at forever 21, topshop n river island. as long as i dont have to face anybody for the rest of my life. i feel like i should be angry, for some reason, but i m too busy to be angry. im so pathetic, i've been trying to distract myself the entire day. heh, lets distract myself some more for the rest of my life. ok maybe not rest of my life cuz i still have dreams, but till this blows over? ok it might just not, so hiding forever works.

ok im just rambling. but hey, its part of my distraction plan?

wadever.

im sad... im really really sad. i feel like watching sad movies to help me just cry it all out. c'mon u have to admit u always feel better after crying. something to do with tears being anti-depressant. i really dont mind taking pills either. which ever makes me feel better. yea i admit. im a loser. i cnt handle stress n whatnot shit.

I want to draw a picture,
a beautiful picture of perfection.
It won't be easy,
but i will try,
try my very best and give it all i have.
If I were to dissapoint,
I hope you won't give up,
won't turn away from me.

It may be just pen to paper,
ink on white.
But it's more than that,
it's more than one,
yet not a crowd.

It takes one to picture,
two to see,
three for emotion,
and four to comprehend.

Look at the picture again,
tell me what you see.

im sorry. i know its sickening. but i dont plan to please.

Don't look into my eyes.
XxX

Ignorance

2009-08-10T15:12:00.002+08:00

Bite me.

ok im blogging so much these few days. like seriously. wadever. im just bored. i should be studying but not like i can concerntrate with so much on mind anyways. so anyways.

i was just thinking. i realised something, when opportunity comes by, one siezes, but if that opportunity was to screw over a friend and rise to the top? will one still sieze. yes, no? i honestly dont know. it is obvious everyone wants to be best, but if it meant running over a friend...the though sounds cruel but trust me, i know of ppl who wouldnt even think twice before siezing. its kinda sad to think on has friends like that. heh, im not pointing fingures but honestly.

but on the other hand, i know of ppl who would sacrifies anything for their friends. its nice to know that one has friends like that. yea i have ppl that listen to my rants, to cheer me up when i feel like shit. these are the ppl who wouldnt give up on u. but...

it deosnt mean that if one has a group of friends, she has to always stick with them n not get close to anyone else. even if the two groups of friends dont get along, i believe that both should respect each other. like seirously. so what if u guys dont like him, his still my friend. like it or not. i will not give up either of u for the other. its not like u dont have other friends.

wadever. i just feel so annoyed.

Bye.
XxX

So much for patriotism.

2009-08-09T22:18:00.003+08:00

The Pledge:
We, the passengers of MRT,
poise ourselves as one united kaisu.
Regardless of pregnant women,
elderly and little children,
to chiong in when the doors open,
so as to achieve seats.
To sleep and rest.

haha this was the sms i recieved, so freaking funny!

Happy National Day? ok its kinda ironic cuz i didnt watch the NDP, i didnt say the pledge at 8.22pm, btw the set time is supposedly due to fengshui. wadeverrr. so yea. i was sipping white wine with my mum n sis. heh, a girls' night out instead? yea n having home made 'facials' right now. yea so much for patriotism. well, i nvr really thought the NDP was interesting. i'll admit watching it in real life would be so much better than on tv. y do u think i dont watch it...lol.

so anyways, so much happened ytd...after i blogged. i would talk about it but im afraid if i say it out loud it might just not be as good as i thought. like ytd was strange...i felt shitty but it turned out great... im really glad...but yet, i have this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that the worst is yet to come. like the situation is not as simple as i thought it was. ok its hard to explain. i just feel 1) like crap 2) kinda bad n 3) sad? ok n confused...

ok this is absolutely random but recently i had encountered lots of ppl talking bout the friday night look. omg im so freaking jealous of those girls who have that look. ok its not sweet, nice girl-next-door but c'mon its sexy! i want it too... ok im getting superficial. but hey, dont u want to pull of that look too. but i kinda realised something. some ppl dont look like ur personality. its strange but true. most of the time u can tell what kinda person one is by simply looking at them, but what if there was this girl who was pretty, sexy, total friday night look but is actually quiet, shy n all? it'll be weird wont it... but i guess if u were shy n quiet, u wont give ppl the impression of that...so maybe its not the look, but the impression? i have no idea. haha.

oh i was watching singapore idol. i have to say, its kinda pathetic. but its funny! so funny. there was this girl, she has this emo scene thing going on and a tattoo on her back. so u'd guess she's loud n funky, but when she spoke. it was like a very shy, sweet voice. omg contradiction much! haha but i thought she was pretty. really cute n all. its totally weird! but yea ok.

hmm i would love to blog on and on bout this topic but i have sickening CTs which r next week.

wish me luck and adios.

Friday night bitch.
XxX

Nothing left to say.

2009-08-08T12:45:00.003+08:00

This much, I will take.

Edit;\
Omg today turned out so freaking amazing! like everything is starting to fall back into place. ohgod im so glad! maybe i am over the drama phase. well, thank god its all good now.
thanks to the ppl around me who cares. i really appreciate it.!

End.

hey yas. just came back from a shopping trip with mummy, sis n jade n celine. haha guess what i bought. i got some seriously sexaye boyshorts from Topshop. it costs like $9? it has the union jack printed on it. soooo cute! i heart it. yesyes, i have a fetish for pretty underwear. like its news.

oh my god. im almost done with the pbl shit. ugh god. im not going to do anymore. i'll pass it on. its not fair that i do everything anyways.
wadever. life's such a fucking bitch right now. im like so pissed. honestly. ok maybe im not pissed, im just...really stressed? n annoyed. i dont know ok. i just know i have a tendecy of screwing up. technically that is the job of a teenager but seriously, life would be so much better if it didnt suck this much. ugh!

ok wadever. quit ranting.

ok i give up. i m pissed. im so effing pissed that i swear i could kill some ppl. its no point talking bout it cuz every effing time i think bout it i get so freakin pissed! like honestly. what is the fucking problem. like petty much? like honestly what m i supposed to do. im sick n tired of being fucking pushed around. wadever. go to fucking hell.

I honestly thought i was over all the crazy superficial drama. looks like its not that easy to change paths. Thanks alot.

This much, I won't take.
XxX

Birthday Kisses.

2009-08-03T17:53:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday!

To joel, you turn 15 today.
An amazing age it is, after all,
we only live a life once.
Spend this year well,
spend it wise.

And remember,
don't worry about a thing,
since you'll always have me here.
Just smile love,
life is meant to be lived.

I Love You.

Whheee. It's Joel's bday today! n what a good day today is.
its started off good, then i found out i got 29/40 for my chi oral. yay!
now its just sweet. i finished all my hw n etc. im just so high n happy today. n no i did not take in any form of alcohol, unless you count the one in my toner. which would be ridiculous.

sry im sprouting nonsence. well i did mention i was highhhhh~!!! hehehe((:
omg im getting retarded. today is just good ok. i havent had such a good day in...a long time. you wouldnt know unless your me.

oh and eng oral was better than i thought...mr poons says i sway, shift my weight alot when im talking to a crowd. im like omg wth. giok, sabby n del think its cuz i tend to pose alot...u know like i cnt stand straight. i would have the whole hip pop going on. hahaha. sabong said at least i have sexy legs. owww. im flattered. hahahaha. ok im going crazy.

hm im hungry...
eat, dont eat. if i don't it'll be kinda ironic...cuz i just gave an oral speech about how young girls starve themselves to be skinny...
wadever. im eating.

Smoochies.
XxX

Burning.

2009-07-31T17:43:00.004+08:00

With a burning passion.

Edit\:

i was talking to del just now. she was telling me how she has some friends who were adopted. and one case which the parents friend had told the child about the adoption before the parents had a chance.

i was thinking bout that, like seriously. firstly would be the fact that child adoption actually exists in singaporean culture. most of you would have known by now that i am for child adoption. mainly cuz if i want kids in the future but dont want to go thru the whole pregnance, labour thing that freaks me out. i would adopt a child. i thought ppl would think its...i dunno what they will think but i didnt know its so common, if i may say.

secondly, i was thinking bout, if a couple does adopt a child. do they have the right to go around telling their friends they adopted the child before telling the child or even when they have no intention to. its strange cuz if they dont tell their friends, wont it be weird. like suddenly out of no where u have a child that is older than he/she should be and doenst even look like you. i guess it is only normal to tell your friends n family n blah. but what if the above case happens. in which the friend tells before you. it would be so bitchy. but thats not the point. how does one even handle stuff like that...how would the child feel...
oh and another thing is, when n how would be the best way to break the news to the child.

End Edit.

haha heyya. omg THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY. wtf. the week was so bloody long. tests, oral. ugh. homework. man it sucks!!!

oh btw, Jo's bday on monday.

hmm oh dammit. im like fishing stressed. i have eng oral on mon...i already wrote my speech but like i cnt memorise it! ahhh. n i cnt keep reading off. gah. the topic is beauty contests are harmful. duh, im for the motion. so i have like a almost 400 word speech on that. its like 2 mins long so just enough time for everything n plus if something screws up. i would post my speech here for u to see but...nah. haha. it'll be weird here anyways.

god im getting more n more boring...
seriously...
well thx for reading those who still bothers to read.

i cnt believe it. time flys so FAST. the CTs are already coming...uhh. sucks.
skl sucks luh. like seriously. man i miss my life. big time.

actually i dont think theres much of a diff from then n now. i just cnt seem to think bout what to blog bout anymore. c'mon dont tell me u dont think so. my whole 'engaging' edge is fading away...
i so have to think bout something interesting to blog bout soon..

ohh btw, pls check out my blogshop! i need PR. yea i know i used to have lots of that. hah akidding. but now is when i need it the most. like seriously! ur support will be greatly appreciated.

oh if theres something u want me to talk bout. just leave it on the tag. since my life is boring. might as well blog bout what u want to read.

Long lost friend.
XxX

oh em gee.

2009-07-29T09:14:00.004+08:00

Ooh Ooh Baby, Baby.

i hardly blog nowadays. gosh. im so busy. yea!

ok to update u,
i have my chi oral tmr n sci prac which i practically forgot bout. ugh
i have math to finish,
eng letter to write n my oral speech to do.
shit man.
i have CTs to study for. their in like 2 weeks. dammittt.

i so wanna blog more. but i dont have much. n i promised someone i'll go to slp now. man im loosing my writing touch...so much for celebrity blogger?
owww. hahaha.

okok. i promise i will try to blog soon. n about something interesting.
but hey, cnt be too scandalous, i have eyes watching. oopsies.
haha wadevers. i would type it down but marjorly ironic.

so loves ya.
XxX

Not-So-Killer killer heels.

2009-07-24T21:38:00.003+08:00

Ouch.

Hey my dears. just got back from a freaking fun day with the girls. haha

ok well, we went to Ion, watch harry potter n went to wisma n cine. haha it was sooo fun!!
Ion is boring tho. like seriously. either too expensive, boring or not open yet. ugh.
the movie is so not my type. i thought it was boring. n i didnt get the story. sry i dont follow the series. but so anyways, yea i guess it was well made n blah. but the story. didnt get it.

yea my feet hurt. god. heels hurt. not my first time wearing but yes first time running. god i ran so much. it was kinda embarressing tho...heh. but yes, they are sore. owww.

i have SO MUCH to type but im like sworn to secrecy. ok not really. but if i spill. im sure to get in trouble with u-know-what/where/who. so wadever. i just feel that it is extremly unfair. dont u think a warning is deserved. not wait till the breaking point before stepping in. now everyone is CLUELESS and helplessly scared! i seriously dont understand. nobody is talking, nobody is finding out. like OMG are we at rock bottom?! seriously. its just like a lump of confusion to me. who what huh??!!! ugh. life is getting weirder and scarier by the day. i think the worst is yet to come, i just have this freaking horrible gut feeling.

lets just anticipate. i guess waiting is part of it. well newsflash. we would like to know what wrong we had done.

ugh lifes a complicated bitch...i could cry.

betrayal n deception lies underneath.
XxX

Oopsies.

2009-07-23T11:14:00.008+08:00

Happen.

heyhey. gosh sry havent posted much this week. so anyways. yes im posting in skl but a post is still a post.
i just had a eng test. lol. i think my compo is so ghay.
speaking of ghay. OMG i just saw the German Sprite ad. ewewewwww. like horny n kiny much? wth. so anyways. if you guys havent seen it yet.

Here it is:

The link would be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFi1zlctlYI

so anyways. ytd was gioks bday. so sry i forgot to dedicate a post. so here goes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIOK!!
you're finally 14! amazing aye.

so for gioks bday we're hanging out tmr. being a friday n all
hopefully we can stay out lateee. we're heading to the new Ion! woots. n gonna catch harry potter n blahs. yayies. im so excited! its gonna be TRE fun! just planing it out now. cuz i wanna shower n stuff first, n we're supposed to go to sabs hse to bathe n change. but i wanna put down my stuff first. dunno if mum would let me ask grandded to give us a lift there. hmm.

arrhhh. i dunno. i'll think bout it again.
but a must would be Cine at nighttt. owww. haha.

Kiss me silly.
XxX

Time would be mine.

2009-07-19T22:17:00.004+08:00

I see,
but I don't see far.
I hold my breath,
for should it stop.

But if it shall,
it wouldn't be,
two, but one.
I'll be sorry,
if may be.

But I shan't see,
into the darken depths,
though comfort seeks.

I shan't breathe,
the scent that lingers,
though comfort seeks.

I shan't feel,
the flame that burns,
though comfort seeks.

But wrong I shall be,
to hold, to have,
It won't be lost forever.

cliche? cheesy? well sry. i was feeling emo.

I'll smile for you.
XxX

Say it again for me.

2009-07-17T10:13:00.003+08:00

Its like the whole world stops to listen.

Hey dears . haha i really dont have much to blog bout but thought i'd leave something on my blog since i havent been here much. but so anyways.

theres so much going on noww. ok not much, but skls stressful...like i'd just find that out. but point is, at least it keeps me occupied. i hate not doing anything. its boring...yea my patience has kinda worn thin...oopsies. yea i admit i tend to be more hot tempered this days. maybe im just PMSing. as usual. doenst mean im Ms PMS kay. hmph.

i seriously have nothing to blog bout. its like sci now. ugh so bored. she's so annoying. Jo's at home. asshole got LOA cuz 2 guys in his class got the flu. oops. so yea. heh, his prolly gaming now. ew i never got n never will understand y guys game. like seriously it sucks the life outa u. i will no longer compare it to shopping cuz duh, at least u gain things in shopping. like literally. but anyways. yes ok i am against video games. i dont see how it bumps ur adrenaline like how a sale bumps mine;))

my bro has started to get hooked too. like seriously. boys will be boys. stupid PSP. i still didnt get my iPhone. ugh. unfairrr. i m the oldest afterall.

hm im in a singing n dancing mood. haha random!!! but yes just had music class. we were doing some dance this. so cute! ballet n contemperary. believe it or not, i actually have thought of going into contemperary before. yea i know, strange right. im not a fan of soft hiphop. but i like contemperary. heh. i thinks its a great form of expression. the whole choreography revolves round a story. mostly a love story, a guy a girl. its beautiful. it really flows with the music. if the music was the wind, the dancer would be the scraf. beautiful combination.

haha yea u guys prolly dont know what im talking bout...
so im gonna go. im hungry...n its recess soon.

When u tell me your in love, love.
XxX

I've been told

2009-07-13T19:32:00.002+08:00

Picture perfect means nothing.

Omg im posting less n less. no its not cuz im getting bored of u guys! heck, i think i'll never get bored of writing. but anyways. i was thinking. n yes i do think. a lot actually. its strange really, not the fact that i do think, but whats been on my mind.

i realised today how many times have i heard(from ppl) or read(in horoscopes n blah) that i'll make a great leader. that im gonna be successful. my parents r always like u have to out in effort, ur an intelligent girl n whatnot. whatever but anyways, m i really that kinda person. that kinda person that will u know, be rich, famous, successful n all that in dreams. of course i want to have the perfect life when i grow up but how many ppl do get it. hardly any. its a strange feeling. the one u get that makes u confident cuz the ppl around u think so highly of u. but on the other hand, the one u get when ur doubtful. that maybe ppl are not seein correctly. that u'll let them down if they think so highly of u. its unlike any other. really. i admit i have been given every opportunity in life, i have been given ,almost, everything i wanted. i know it prolly sounds strange to u guys reading it.

and also, i was talking to my mum recently. she was telling me how her ex boss from Burberry used to be the IT socialite. major parties, crazy nights. sounds fun. then. she also told me how her husband divorced her cuz of her social life. looks like u cnt have it all afterall. it really got me thinking cuz for a while, i wanted to be just like her. awesome social life, superficial friends but popular n all. but then, now that i have to choose between a personal life n that, i really dont know.

del, giok n sabby r always scolding me for being extra, annoying, irritating n whatever. yea i admit i do get put down by their worthless comments. yea i admit it does make me feel left out. make me feel...unbelonging. like...i dunno. its hard to explain. but it feels even worse coming from your bestfriends.

yea n another thing is, they have this strange idea that im 'fake' angmoh. but maybe they just havent realised that it is my family culture. oh n they think i like to act deep. yea i do like to express my feelings. especially on my blog, or any piece of writing for the matter. oh n BTW i have bad spelling cuz as a kid, toddler, whatever. i didnt get those phonic lessons most ppl did. well maybe most ppl dont know that my family wasnt really like this then. its hard to explain really. but yes i do admit. i do have my flaws which my friends tend to enjoy picking on.

point is, i have been thinking on how me n del were picking on sabby for looking like siona wu, sam in fighting spiders. yea she's ugly in real life. but anyways. that made her feel like crap. she got so pissed at us. but, it made me feel good. yes im not a good bestfriend. but i will admit it. i felt good cuz for once she knows how it feels to be put down all the time. seriously. i know its like wtf m i doing posting this. at least i have the courage to admit how i feel, good or bad.

yea sabby will not even bother thinking bout this. telling her that i hate her making fun of me cuz yea it sucks. she'll be like ur so annoying. heh some kind of 'bestfriend'. i really do wonder y she even bothers to hang out with me sometimes. if she hates me so much. ok not hate but at least every one can tell she doesnt like me. EVERYONE knows she hangs with me cuz im the only one she can relate to in the class but seriously. y bother making friends for the sake of it. n del, yea we've been sticking by each other for ages now. but seriously. i know it sounds way stupid. i think so too. but trust me. i have told her it really sucks to be insulted by ur bestfriend. the one u love n trust so completely. yea n guess what. she laughed it off. saying it was sabby n not her. yea thx.

Sleep on it.
XxX

understatement.

2009-07-11T18:21:00.003+08:00

Love, the fire was put out.
Understand, it's more than this.
Sorry, lost it's meaning.
Thoughts, i think.
Future, is not just a matter of time.
Used, my body.
Leave, I would not.

Tre fun!

2009-07-10T19:06:00.004+08:00

DARGMETOHELL!

I [HEART] Cam Whoring.

omg bout time i blogged. haha so anyways. u guys probably wanna know bout my monday too so here goes! hmm it was FABULOUS! haha. went out with my sis, jade, celine, bro, jer n jo. haha jer is an AWESOME big bro!! haha yay to jer. thx man, for taking care of fh. so anyways. watched drag me to hell. man was it scary or what haha. but it was fun((;
haha before the movie we went for bowling n kbox. as u all probably already guessed. i got STRAIGHT....zeros. haha yea...kbox was fun tho! hahah i heart milkshake. hahaha.
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, their like. its better than yours. damn right, its better than yours.
hahaha.

and yea i guess that was it, in short. haha. so anyways, we had some history heritage tour today. man it was nth but FUN! oh em gee. i LOVED it!!! hahaha. we were walking down haji lane since we finished real quick. omg i LOVE that place. we should totally head over some time. haha so there was this FABULOUS graffiti wall. we started cam whoring infront of it. DUH! hahah. we r such major CAM WHORES!

haha. n today in class, since we finished pbl early, me del sab's foot and other ppl started camwhoring on camoroid. haha so FUN n spastic. haha its becoming like a passion. haha.

btw, pbl can suck my ass. it was so screwed. ugh. wadevers.

so anyways. go check out the GAZILLIONS of cam whore pics me n del uploaded today on fb. hahah. it was SO FUN! omg seriously!! hahaha.

Give me Sexy.
XxX

What goes on inside.

2009-07-07T18:58:00.006+08:00

I wish you could just read my mind, then you would know.

Its just not something i talk about. Its just something i hate talking bout. Its just something that i wish would not happen, at least not so soon. i was never good at explaining, but its worse when i dont even know i myself feel about it.

Panic. Panic! PANIC!
Don't panic.

Ugh i dont know how to feel. afraid, yes. scared, deffo. confused, very.
i cant handle it. i know i cant. its not about believing. its not about trust. its about...about me.
ok ego.

How do i put this?!
im scared. very scared. but think, how do i explain myself. realize how mush i have been thinking this to myself. how do i do it right, how do i not mess up, what did i do right. what wrong. its confusing, sad maybe.

tears, i feel like crying...
my voice, i feel like screaming.
time, it just flew by.
speed, don't rush things.
chances, never meant we had to race speed and time.
AFRAID, an unexplainable feeling.
sorry, it's just another word with sincerity.
silence, yet again.
love, hurts.

cold, im cold. scared. sorry, i maybe.
XxX

Rebels and Fantasies.

2009-07-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

That's what I want.

Hey my dears. haha it's been a strange weekend so far. haha but anyways

hmm rmb i said once that i wanna get a tattoo when im older? haha yea. but anyways, i heard that i could get one now under parental concent. but DUH obviously i cnt. so anyways. i used to want a tattoo on my left hip bone. yea its hurt. like hell. but hey. its hott. haha. i still want it tho. but now. i want more. like some cool wings tattoos on my back? how smokin would THAT be. haha totally sexy. i've even done my research. like i found some REALLY hott wings i could n totally would get. way sexy. haha n rmb how i wanted like gazillion piercings. ok not tat many but like 3 more. a belly one, a second one on my left ear n one on the tip pf my right ear? yea its way cool but wont it look...creepy? haha like seriously i dont wanna look like some punk scene thing., tho it is hott. heh. but so yea...maybe i'll get my second left piercing dec hols. perfect time to get it...n by then, my hair would be long enough to cover it. haha. gosh im back to my rebel ways. ok not really. thier just thoughts. but how cool if i did get then. wowwow. haha.

okok no matter how fun it may be fantasizing bout what i can n will do when im finally 18. i still have like 4 yrs to go...haha.

hm anyways, i was just thinking. ok so i am in love with the 19th century romance scene. the balls, the masks, the gowns. oh wow it is amazing...imagine having tea in beautiful dresses at the pavilion in the park. wow. its like a dream come true. haha yea i am a dreamer. a crazy one at that. but just imagining in drives me crazy! its so...stunning. like i was meant to be in that english era...

i will write more about it in my next post. but for now, i have to goooo.

Dreaming.
XxX

Thank god it's friday.

2009-07-03T17:36:00.002+08:00

Never this easy.

Hey. yay, its friday. haha feels weird that im not at tuition tho...hmm.
but anyways. haha yesterday was so fun n super funny with giok. hahah wth! it was kinda stupid but yea. the things we come up with. giok wanted to buy matching thongs. for me her n del. haha.
n we had such a hard time deciding if giok should get herself some hair removal cream gosh it was retarded. hahah we stood there for like 10 mins contemplating n she was like should i get a razor or the cream. wthhh. HAHAHA. i miss my girls... the company is nice. haha.

but so anyways. today was kinda boring. sabby made me bring my hair removal cream so she could use some. haha so ghay. but in the end, she didnt. lol. other than that, todya was boring. del fell sick tho. poor girl! she went home halfway thru skl. get well soon dear!!

but anyways, we were supposed to hang out on monday youth day. but we have NO IDEA where to go. paint balling sounds fun but its so TEDIOUS! gah. with the booking n blah. so yea we're down to 4 options...god sg is boring.

i have to call del n vid to ask what they think...hmm.
i guess i dont have much to type today. i just felt i should update...

There's nothing i can say, you know how much i hate it. I don't live ur life for u. so it's ur choice. i wont be petty n naggy to make a fit, but seriously, im kinda dissapointed.

If there's one thing i could do...
XxX

Things I have learnt...

2009-07-01T20:54:00.003+08:00

A timeless piece.

Hey my dears. i know the hols have already ended. but hey. MY hols will be ending today. so tmr is back to skl! haha. yay. i guess?

lol so anyways. i decided i shall write a post on the things i have learned this pleasantly long holiday. well it is not too many but i do feel strongly for a few.

so anyways. heres the official list. ;P

Thing I have learned this holiday:

1. That even as a local i have been ripped off when i went out shopping. gosh. imagine the amount of money i have wasted...LOL. the shopping in china was amazing! im freaking serious. like i got this pair of Florsheim shoes, original price about SGD$250, in a sale in Macau, i got it for SD$50! omg i simply LOVE IT! haha.

ok moving on.

2. that time means everything. theres always not enough of it, or too much of it...its strange how it works, if u saw it from my point of view....

3. today, i brought my baby doggie, koko, out for a walk. we were at this small park, u know running around. i was totally freaked out bout koko getting hurt n stuff cuz of her left eye. oh yea, she is blind in her left eye, did i mention that? well yea. she is due to some genetic disease. poor baby...but so anyways, i was really worried about her. chasing after her n stuff. but then, jo told me that i should loosen up, let her run around, shes a dog, she wont hurt herself. that made me think of me n my parents. y they are doing this whole grounded blah. its because they love me care for me. typical. but hey, its the same for me n koko n me n my parents. i finally realised that today. what happened between my parents n i over the past few months has finally led to 1 conclusion. it kinda those make sence now. ok i know u guys probably dont care about all this but from where i m coming from, its all the explanation i need. i was angry at koko for making me worry so much n running after her to make shes ok. while i, dont want to my parents to be all up in my business. like how i am with koko. its a funny connection but it does make sense. if koko ran across a busy street. i will scold her like crazy. same for my parents if i was in kokos place...
Heh, all this, because of love.

4. running after my baby today, even tho i love koko, she only a dog n she tired the hell outa me. what if it was my future child! omfg. i will get a heart attack. ugh. having children is such a turn off. for my body n heart...haha even tho they r so cute n love-able.

ok i do have more, but they dont seem that important anymore. haha cuz it mainly revolves arounf numba 3.

haha okok i should go pack my stuff.

Queen of Hearts.
XxX

Things I have learnt...

2009-07-01T20:54:00.000+08:00

BlogShop.

2009-06-28T23:17:00.002+08:00

Hey my loves. haha i just created a blogshop! how cool is that! haha yayies. anyways. check it out yea!!
www.flakethis.blogspot.com
honest opinions? thanks.

Almost, so close. Phew.

2009-06-27T16:26:00.003+08:00

It is meant to be.

Hey my loves.gosh yesterday was...eventful. haha. anyways. i dont really have much to blog bout honestly. hmm but i just feel like updating. ok well.
guess what. ACS carnival is postponed to next year cuz of H1N1. omg all that planing for nth. haha ok but it doesnt really involve me so yea. but omg cuz of this stupid virus, i get to skip skl till thursday! haha i dunno if i had told u guys this but omg. im physed. dont have to rush hw..that much. haha.

so anyways, at least i dont have to worry bout seeing certain ppl anymore. omg i think im paranoid bout what ppl think or say bout me! like seriously. i may used to be shallow n stupid n YOUNG but hey. it was the PAST. man, only now do i realised i screwed up last yr. heh. yea its back to the image probs. ugh. y m i so superficial...

but yes. ok im sorry! so what if i didnt care, its not like u did anyways. n just so u know, i havent forgiven u for trash talking me behind my back. i have to give it to u, so much for MATURE. gosh.

yes i kinda do feel sorta in a bitchy mood. but omg i hate those assholes. ugh. like seriously, so much for 'misunderstanding and misconception' and 'you hurt him' wadever. like seriously. some ppl dont have the right to bitch bout me like that. honestly, what have i done to them. ok maybe i did hurt him, but hey get over it already! isnt he supposed to be the 'fighter'?! GAH.

lets forget about mean ppl for a while. ooh. the weather is nice. sunny. haha i wanna go swimming! hmm but i dont want the sun to friz out my hair. hm. i think the weather is perfect! just how i like it, wonder y ppl complain its too hot. at least its not that humid nowadays.

ok my efforts of trying to get myself distracted is going down the drain. seriously. god. im so sry u guys. i just...i dunno. just been thinking abit lately. not really about them...but how things would be if i hadnt...u know. nvm.
i guess life is full of junctions. if u know what i mean. if i go right, i'll never know what left would have install for me. i guess life is about taking chances, risks and learning from mistakes. its kinda scary if i think bout it that way...cuz what if certain things didnt happen, how would life be? how would everything be. it is scary, thinking bout the possibilities. i dunno y i second-guess everything. its not that im not happy with my life now, im just curious, how would things be. maybe better, maybe worse. i wouldnt know, ever. cuz it doesnt look like i could wind back time. but theres no use anyways. maybe there are reasons for the things that happen, maybe some things are n arent meant to be. no matter how insignificante the choice, decision, junction, it does make a difference in our present.

well i guess i have enough for today...i guess u guys dont wanna hear my crap anyways.
btw, i do hope to go back to writing...hopefully i'll do better this time((:

Worth.
XxX

Check this out.

2009-06-26T14:05:00.004+08:00

Hey my loves. haha i was just on PerezHilton.com
n guess what i founddd. haha 2 things.

1. omg their actually having this thing called Twilight Cosmetics. its this cool new lip plumper/lip gloss thing. its amazing! how cool aye. haha check out the webby!
http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-24-twilight-cosmetics-oh-yes

2. look at this cute vid i found there too. its Buffy vs. Edward. haha the remixed Buffy the vampire slayer with Twilight. so CUTE! haha heres the webby.
http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-22-edward-cullen-meets-buffy-summers

Heres the Vid.

Things I'll never say.
XxX

Home. Finally?

2009-06-24T20:53:00.004+08:00

What took you so long.

Hey loves. omg im finally HOME!! yay! gosh i miss home so much! but it kinda feels strange being home tho. like at lunch n dinner, i was wow. im actually eating home. god. i think 3 weeks of eating out has made me put on so much weight. OMG. but no dieting tho. will think of something.

anyways. gosh. today was so tiring...we were this close to missing our flight in the morning. ugh. annoying. we didnt wake up late fyi. cuz hk airport is not on hk island it self. its like a 40 min trip by train or car. so today. the stupid check in counter at the train station was very crowded blahblah. didnt have time to check in out bags. to guess what. we had to rush to the airport n TRY to check in and board the train in like 20 mins. damn that was scary. what if we didnt make it in time. oopsies.

but other than that, i guess the trip was ok? haha. oh my shipment is coming in next friday! haha yayies. to fill u guys in. apparently we have THAT much shopping that mum had to ship majority of it back. like shoes, bags, clothes. yea. so anyways. it'll be leaving this friday. getting to us next friday! haha awesomeee. i get my pretty shoes sooner!((:

omg. looks like im quarantined. its kinda a bad thing cuz i cnt go out, but im kinda grounded anyways. so i guess it doesnt make much diff...but looks like i'll be missing like 3 days? of skl! haha woots. its like a make up holiday. minus the vacation. haha. home skl closes even further. two weeks is good((:

hmm gosh. kinda swamped right now?

Honest.
XxX

Back, but I ain't home.

2009-06-21T18:39:00.003+08:00

Numbness...

Hey my dears. gosh. im back in hk. wow. i've been traveling so much...tired...but anyways. Bei Jing is so nice. haha maybe be cuz i have been living the high life. imagine my dad travels like that each n every business trip. sweet. haha we stayed in Ritz Carlton. AMAZING! gosh it was THE BEST! i think i enjoyed the hotel the MOST. haha((: we had a driver...yea n a nice car. we had nice meals. seriously man. it was sweet. but once again, superficial. wadever. its not like its my permanent lifestyle.

But anyways. we did SO much in beijing. gosh. we went to the Forbidden City, Summer Palace, Imperial Palace n blah. most importantly is that i CONQUERED the Great Wall. haha yay me? it was cool. nice view, nice wind. hot sun. i think im a shade darker...with the UGLIEST tan lines!! eww. i was wearing a tank top. n forgot to pack my starpless bra, so u can freakin see the two straps on my shoulders. GAH. but regardless. it was a pleasant trip...

omg u know whats so annoying. I LOST MY RIGHT CONTACT AT THE GREAT WALL. omg im like half BLIND! n guess what. my glasses, yea the bridges broke. so i cant wear them. man m i meant to be blind. anyways. i only brought 1 pair on the trip. shayett.

anyways. since im currently in hk. i'll start filling u guys in bout hk. its so BORING here. gosh. like seriously. im not going to Disney cuz i've been to Paris Disney. its kinda pointless to go to the one here cuz it aint as nice as the Euro one n its so HOT here omg! probably as hot as home...

ok i have to go. dinner.

Kiss me once, twice, maybe more.
XxX

HongKong is the place...for some one less homesick.

2009-06-13T23:13:00.002+08:00

Touch my hand.

Gosh. I MISS U GUYS SO MUCHHHHHH!
i dont have much to blog bout actually. but how homesick i m. omg i miss EVERYONE n EVERYTHING so much!! i miss my dearest girlfriends. i miss my baby love. i miss my most special friend. i miss...ALL OF U!!!

Special request from Giok Ting to leave her n Dellas a msg so here it is! hahaha((:

To Giok.
hope ur happy. here is ur msg. hahah lol. anyways. i miss u guys so much. u have no idea how it is having to spend three weeks away from ur friends n loved one. its kinda hard, almost lonely. at least ur home, where we all should be. i know im sorta emo right now but hey. im SUPER homesick... i want my life back...miss u girl. love u(:

To Dellas.
love u, miss u. things cnt be worst. ok maybe they can. but im at my wits ends...i miss home so much! i did alot of shopping tho. its...fun i guess. sry i dont have much to write for u...but i do have to go.

No man's land.
XxX

City of Dreams-Macao

2009-06-11T21:19:00.004+08:00

There's no place like home. (Minus my sister)

Hey my lovies!! OMG i miss u guys SO much!
im super home sick right now. sry havent been able to blog...
1. been quite busy...shopping. haha the shopping here in China is AMAZING maybe even better than hk. the stuff r SO cheap. like really. i got Shoes, Bags, Clothes. so much. gosh. haha. the shoes r simply AMAZING. like completely utterly the best. haha

2. my parents r BREATHING DOWN MY NECK. i barely got time away from them to blog. but nows ok i guess. haha. mums busy packing. im in China right now. will be going back to HK tmr...so yea. n by going back i mean by CAR not plane. the drive is like 2-3hrs if im not wrong. but anyways.

but anyways. since i DO have time off to myself now. i would like to leave a few msgs for some ppl.

To Love:
hi dear. im so sry i havent been online. im kinda busy n parents r kinda...u know.
but anyways. i have to leave u a msg HERE cuz i cnt post on ur fb. cuz DUH my parents might just trace the history n freak out m blah. so yes. i just wanted to say.
I love you and miss u ever so dearly. i seriously cnt keep my mind of u...

To Jerjer.
haha i havent really spoken to u in a while. ok not that long. but anyways. u already know y im leaving u a msg here. so yea. just wanted to check in on u guys. i hope u guys r well? i miss u a ton too. hmm hope ur on ur way to QUITING aye. i do wish u luck n PLSSSS do it soon. Im in China right now. Lots of ppl smoke. i must say. it is utterly HORRIBLE. like seriously i could die of second hand smoking.

Ok i have to go. gah. my ANNOYING BITCH OF A SISTER IS bugging me to get off. ugh.

Do await my return.
XxX

Welcome to Hong Kong!

2009-06-05T22:58:00.003+08:00

A place away from home...

hey u guys. yea im bloggign from hk. but im using my daddys laptop. lazy to set mine up. bleh. haha anyways. i feel strange in hk. like really. its been one day but i seriously miss home. ahh.

but i guess its nice here. the night life here is so cool. just came back from shopping at Cause way bay. yea it is so cool there. my dads service appartment is around here anyways. its pretty cool here, cuz its expats area. u know like holland road and orchard in sg. at least i dont feel like i stick out like a sorre thumb here. haha. okok anyways. the streets of Cause Way Bay at night is simply AMAZING. i've been here so many times but nvr been out late night shopping. its really nice. like a finally feel like i actualy beling in hk. nice man. haha but anyways. the room is TINY! ugh. hate it. gah. at least im leaving for China tmr. for a week. i guess. after that, back to hk, then off to BeiJing again. so much travelling. gosh.

at least the flight in was ok. was like 3hrs. not too bad. i flew Cathy. like my first time here. didnt even bother watching movies n etc.

hmm speaking bout shopping. i havent even been able to shop much here! i only spent like 4 hrs on the streets. the atmosphere is dazzling but its still dirty, poor n CROWDED like hell. sry. abit stuck up. but yea true! but anyways. THEY HAVE EVRYTHING HERE!! haha. its seriously shopping heaven. they have juicy! n the zara here is cheap. way cheaper. but still didnt get to buy much stuff. sad much. but i will get on shopping the moment i come back from china. haha. but i feel strange...the currency exchange rate is like HKD$5 to SGD$1 so its like kinda strange. everything is in the hundreds...

but anyways. i have to go. im heading out early tmr to Guang Zhou. n stuff. haha. okok nights my dears.

City Lights.
XxX

p.s. i dont have a pic today cuz i aint using my laptop n im lazy to upload. ;p

Fly away, to place that...I've been a million times.

2009-06-04T19:51:00.002+08:00

4th time's the bore.

omg i cant believe im heading to hong kong tmr!! wth! n im not even done packing! i still got shoes! more clothes?! ahhhh. i m so dead. gosh. i dread going. did i leave out anything. gosh did i remember my chargers. ipod? phone? omgomgomg!!! what hw did i leave out. damn it. gotta do it over there. shoots. how m i suppose to finish my newspaper articles. shucks. i m so dead! omg. where is my hand sanitizers for china. gosh. i hate china. omg do i have enough cash. ahhh. im gonna be so home sick!

man, i dont wanna go. at least not so soon. hmmm. im gonna miss u guys so much. at least im bringing my tablet. so i'll see u guys online. as much as possible.

im kinda excited for the shopping. but i HATE packing. n im leaving tmr. damn it!

just a few things before i leave.

dont worry u guys, i will try to enjoy myself n remember prezzies for all of u!! but im not sure what to get who. n how many ppl i have to get for...hmmm....

strange how im not going to Disney land in hk...after Euro Disney. i guess im already bored of it. -giok n del dont kill me. haha but seriously. i liked the atmosphere in Paris but the rides n all. god. so over those.

i cnt beleive im going TMR! gosh!!! its so fast. like i barely spent my hols home. arhh. now im being flewn off to HK. hmmm. i hate hk. its dirty, n the ppl r rude! hmph. i just dislike the culture.

should i pack 3 weeks worth of clothes. or pack 1 and a half and buy the rest while im there? hmm. mummy says buy there. but what if i cnt find nice stuffs? ugh. i'll back 2 weeks just in case. ugh. forget it. im packing my entire wardrobe. its like a months worth of clothes. but i already let my dad bring some to hk like 2 weeks ago so cnt be that bad...i have 3 weeks worth of clothes.

SHOES! 5 pairs or 4? hmm. i dont really have mush space...but 5 pairs give me just the right varietions. sandals, running shoes, converse, pumps and formal shoes. see just nice. but mummy said can buy there. but what if they dont havee. ahh n i cnt risk anything. wadever. 5 it is.

damn it. i think im outa space...so much stuff to bring! gah! it'll be worse coming back. with EVERYTHING that we bought by then...hm. maybe mummy would get another luggage for coming back...hopefully. i cnt cram everything...

can u believe it. my flight is at 10 tmr. gotta wake at like 6?! hmmm.
i hate waking early. so sickening. grr.

ok i think im done freaking n ranting. i so have to go finish up packing.
Bye dearies. don't miss me too much, its not exactly good for health. hahah((:
but anways, just to confirm. I WILL BUY PREZZIES n i will try to enjoy myself.
do leave tags on what u want, so i dont have to wreck my poor brain on what to get u guys.
and pls dont give each other a hard time while im gone.;P i know i'll be missing from the social scene for long so i want a complete update of things when i m back!
but i will be online at times. so do catch me then.

i love you guys! byyeee. oh btw, realize how my parents love dragging our family all over the wolrd? hmm its cool i guess. i love to travel...but...i dunno. i feel like bratty complaining about traveling. sorry. but anyways. i think eacg trip i make. its gonna be longer n longer. europe was 2 weeks. hk for 3 weeks. what next? Spain/Japan for a month?! gosh. oh yea. my parents r thinking of going to spain or japan for december. hmm. cool aye. hahah((:

okok i have to go. before mum freaks out bout how much i packed;p
In & Out!

I will see you the next full moon...
XxX

Contacts((:

2009-06-02T13:47:00.003+08:00

Lemme hear you say 'Hey hey hey!'

haha hey my loves. guess whatttt. i just got my contacts. yay. haha i got soft lens. 1month disposable. how cool is that. its so cheap. like $15 for like a pair/month. haha.
i think im crazy. thrilled by how clear it is now. ugh i hate my glasses. so glad my parents finally gave in(: haha.

anyways. i m utterly bored! i havent even started packing yet. n im leaving friday. this is so stupid. gah. i hate packing...super lazy. i dont even know what to pack anyways.

oh btw, yesterday. haha i had councilling. it was ok i guess. ugh but it was longgg. like 2 hrs? at least i dont have to go back? lol.
headed to the library after. yea to pick up some books. oh n met jo there for a while...
otherwise, yesterday was sorta boring.
hmm haha but i miss jer. his awesome luh. but that bitch. he has so gotta quit. if he doesnt listen to me, at least listen to her! whoever 'her' is. haha.

im so bored...n im trying to get used to my contacts. its making me dizzyyyy. whheeee. haha
but other than that. it feels perfectly fine((:

hmm ok i got nothing more.

In and Out.
XxX

Birthday wishes.

2009-06-01T11:50:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DELLAS!!

You're Finally 14!
Congratulations to my most special friend.
May this day mark the very beginning of joy and happiness,
you will always be loved so dearly.

Don't worry about falling,
as you know you have me here.
Don't worry about loosing,
as you know i wont leave you dear.
Smile always,
as you are most beautiful when you do.

XxX Fangs

Hey dears. gosh i feel horrible. and i don't even know the reasons. ok maybe i do. but thinking bout it makes me feel horrible but the exact reason...is cuz...ugh i dunno! so frustrated. i feel like crap. gah. i feel like a ugly lil green monster. omg i cnt believe im actually giving into JEALOUSY! this is sooo not me. god! im like caving in to stress or something?

ok breathe.

i will be fine. theres absolutely no reason to act this way. c'mon im just being selfish. big time. ugh. i hate how selfish i am. its not fair to them. ok...im loosing it.

shit. what is wrong with me...lifes been so crazy, i think i've gone mad myself. i miss my old carefree life. i miss...alot of things.

i have counciling ltr btw. i m kinda insulted? ok but mainly i m afriad. u guys know how hard it is for me to actually open up to some one. what if she cant stop givng me more n more apps...i m such a loser...

ugh. at least tmr, mummy made an app with the optometrist to get me my contacts! yay. she wants to get me a trial pair. for 1 month.

ok i guess i have to go...i have to get lunch before heading to skl...

Who are you and what have you done to...me?
XxX

Cash, Cash like;

2009-05-30T20:29:00.002+08:00

Knots with cherry stalks.

Hey my dears.

haha life seems to be perking up...alil. just closed a $400 deal for my speaker stands today. yayies! hahaha. but sadly im still grounded. cnt go out to get my loves well dissevered gifts. haha suppose i can spend the money in hk n china n blah. hmm. haha.
leave me a comment on what u would like kay((:

hm i got most of my hol hw done!(: yay. omg im soo relieved. just got some eng left. oh n some Heymath. ugh. annoying. looks like i still have to bring some overseas. wadevs.

speaking bout studies. my mum was SO disappointed in my results. figures. they weren't that good. honestly, im disappointed myself. well. i'll have to try harder next semester. sigh. my aim shall be top 15! haha seems impossible tho. haha i'll give it my best shot.

hmm besides all the good stuff happening. things r getting kinda strained as well. its like i've lost control of everything, it's like i've lost myself. haha this whole thing seems to be bringing out the worse in me. the selfish, self centered person i can be. but i guess in my defense i have my reasons. valid or not, people's perceptions vary. i wont be shaken if u despise me for them, but i would appreciate if u accepted them.

things r still hard now i guess. tho its obviously fading. its still there and still quite significant apparently. haha enough emo stuff.

haha im back to my baking craze. i guess. tried out this new recipe from one of my mum's copy of women's weekly. omg u should see the mountain of magazines she has. its weird cuz she doesnt really read them. she says she keeps them cuz of her advertisments in them. but anyways. the recipe is more some spoge cake. its sooo pretty! haha with pink frosting, cream n strawberries. i made it smaller. like cup cake size. their adorable! i didnt have food colouring so no pink frosting. haha but its still strawberry flavoured. u should see them. pity they were gone before i could take a pic. hmm wanted to bake them for del. but NOOO. haha she doesnt want to come to skl on monday. its her bday. she wants to go out with her mum. fineee. haha. i'll have to get her prezzie overseas then. hmm what to get her. haha. suggestions pls(:

Lips of an angel...
XxX

Abstinence.

2009-05-28T21:47:00.003+08:00

Think.

Hey loves. Hmm i really havent been blogging much. well cnt blame me. life's been so boring. ok maybe not THAT boring. im exaggerating. haha ok lets see. oh yea. i was at the doctors yesterday. got my bloodtest results back! YAY. i m so back to normal. phew. im no longer in danger of getting stroke. how creepy would that be. a frigging 14 yr old dies of high cholestrol. haha. wth. anyways. haha today was SPASTIC. me, del n sabby got SO bored in class that we started tattooing ourselves-mainly me n sab, with permenant marker. haha yea sabby got a 友情 on her butt crack. haha while i got a Fangs on my left hip bone. i have to say. dell's placement was good. its covered by my bottoms but totaly in view in bikinis. how cools that. so it doesnt have to show all the time. ok u probably have no idea what im talking about.
but anyways. i was just thinking. maybe i should get a tattoo for my 18th bday. how cool would that be. on the same spot. left hip bone. i would so like that((:

haha omg. sabby got blonde n brown extentions in her hair. yea she got a single lock of blonde n a single lock of brown. looks spastic like so out of place. she should have gotten more. the blonde looks good with the black. but how gross is that. they use REAL HAIR as said by del. ewww. having some one elses hair in yours. gross. even wrose. sabby thinks its HORSE TAIL. omg. SICK. i would so not want that in my hair. ewww. ugh. but besides that. they look cool(: always wanted to get my hair temp coloured. maybe mum would let my temp dye it. haha.

btw. my hong kong trip is CONFIRMED. leaving on the 5th. returning 25th. kinda long. isnt it. hmm. well at least i got a chance to get away from all the drama. but im sooo gonna miss u guys! but sooner i go. the sooner i get back. which means. THE SOONER IM OFF GROUNDING! yay. n im kinda excited for all the shopping in gonna do! haha.

but speaking bout hols. OMG I HAVE SO MUCH HW! ok not that much since i finished quite a bit already n i can so recycle my book reports and news paper articles from last yr since mr poon didnt collect them at the start of this yr. haha. n i have to get back to my stupid eng compre.

In and Out.
XxX

Life's real.

2009-05-24T19:17:00.002+08:00

Picture Perfect...

Hey u guys. so sry havent been blogging much. but hey gotta cut me some slack man. i've been very emotionally stressed. haha kinda. i guess. but anyways.

i havent been up to much. really. life seriously cnt get any more BORING. but at least i've realised how real it is. real i dont mean existing or there. i mean like. how harsh n stuff it can get. honestly. it was never and will never be the fairytale i hoped it was or would be. reality sucks. so true.

haha but anyways. i've been SO absorbed with the Twilight saga that i can finish one book in 3 days. omg im turning into a FREAK. no offense to those who can too. im just SOO not used to it. it was like c'mon. me? read? u gotta be crazy. so yea. u geddit.

ugh i feel like im loosing touch. being away from the outside world for so long is so not good for me. i miss my social life. alot. sad aye. sigh.

life being so boring. i honestly have nothing to blog bout. except how much i've been reading. ugh boring. but omg edward is soooooooo PERFECT in the book. but i guess. im so over perfect. ugh. anyways. i heard recently. that RObert Pattison auctioned of a kiss. haha yea. some celebrity fund raiser thing. but anways some girl paid S$30000 for a Robert Pattison kiss. haha HONESTLY. who would be crazy enough. even a phsyco Twilight fan wont do that cuz DUH his not Edward Cullen!! sad huh. haha.

but yea. i seriously have nth interesting to blog bout. oh yea except that i got my phone back. but curfew still applies. ugh annoying. but besides that.

I will keep u guys updated on the now scarce but still existing interesting events in my oh so boring life.

I miss you...
XxX

Life seems dreaded.

2009-05-20T19:36:00.002+08:00

I only have a long way left to go.

Hey u guys.
honestly. i think life is boring. ugh so much happened. but i seriously dont feel like talking bout it. i got enough drama n shit. i feel like crying. i feel like running away. but what does that matter. giving up is only one option. tho its probably like the easiest one. i gotta stick this out. i will get thru this. hopefully. i dont feel like writing anymore. i want to. but i aint much good. so yea. rather not.

for some reason. i've been really into reading recently. im reading new moon now. it took me like 2 days to get half a book done. nvr thought i could read this much. always was turned off by how thick these books were. but now i m inlove iwth reading them. thinking of buying the whole series. n maybe some other books to keep me occupied. like Macbeth.

I think i know y i've been reading so much...it kinda helps me drift of into my little world. where theres no good nor bad. things r just the way they r, for a reason, maybe. but at least shit doesnt happen. its like a little escape for me. away from all this...crap. and, this also helps me with my writing skills. yea n for some reason. im suddenly really into writing as well. strange aye. i guess after i recieved a couple of good feedbacks about my lil proposal for jer n jo. i kinda got encouraged. that yes. i can write. but i think i lost it. maybe its just a one off thing. haha. wadevs. wont give up tho. wish me luck! hahahaha.

speaking bout what im into. i havent been baking in a while. havent really been feeling up to it...like i guess i only bake when im happy. so the treats turn out good. is that how that works?

hmm maybe thats y i write when im sad. i cnt seem to write happy stuff. its always about thought. like im only thinking when things arent good. then thats another problem! y wasnt i thinking when my life was still perfect?! if i did maybe life would not have turned out like that. remember, i dont believe in destiny. so wadever i do is in my hands. so yea...i guess im the only one that can be blamed.

but speaking bout perfect life, my mum thought my life is/was perfect. she says that i have everything. everything a girl would ever want. A good family background. Good friends. Good grades. Appearence. Talent. Well to do. in other words. i have a picture perfect life, just like in those american movies and novels and that any girl would be jealous of me. i thought she only said those to make me feel better about myself. cuz. There is always more to the picture perfect moment. there are always stories behind that picture. hidden, masked by its beauty, nobody actually notices it. maybe thats my problem. maybe it was becuase life was so perfect, nobody saw it coming. Think about it.

But i guess all i can do now, is make the best of what im given. doenst matter good or bad. as long as i know things will pass. soon. this would be behind me. life would be back to its perfect self. but if life does go back to perfect. wont it be empty...

[Blank]
XxX

My story.

2009-05-18T19:03:00.002+08:00

Feelings of the lost.

As i stood there, staring out the window. The faint melody of that song drifted by, the song that reminded me of what love is. But this song that once reminded me of perfection and masked beauty, now, only seem to spark thoughts of regret and hatred.

How was this possible, why is life so cruel. But yet again, maybe it's not. Maybe it's the wrong I've done. Maybe, just maybe...it was not meant to be.

The melody familiar, but the feelings foreign. I was lost in my own emotions, how could I have let something like that happen. What is it that i missed out on. It's temporary. These two words on playback in my head. I knew it wasn't, I knew things were more complex than they seemed but a streak of hope shined, things will get better, life will go back to normal. Hopefully.

Life's full of uncertainties but one thing, I am sure of. Is that he will always be there. That thought lingered a little longer as the piano piece came to a soft finale. Smile love, he would say, your so beautiful when you do. Ironically, hot tears started to blur my vision. I can't take this anymore. It hurts to even think about the past. Though filled with what is supposed to be perfection, memories now seemed fake, I seemed fake.

Who am I? I always question. Am I just another girl who had a dream? Am i just another girl that screwed up her life? I thought I had an answer, but I thought wrong. What seemed so right then , now I realize were all wrong. I am not the girl with the perfect life, neither am I the girl who was almost popular. I hope to be somebody, I hope to make a difference, but this is not what I meant.

I hope u understood this. sry i was feeling horrible so i thought i'd write. it doesnt matter if u dont. most of u probably dont know whats going on anyways.

just wanted to write what i felt. yea u may think its cheesy but at least its the truth. tell me what u guys think yea?

What is wrong...
XxX

Looking good.

2009-05-16T23:01:00.002+08:00

Decked out in fabulous.

Hey my dearies!!

hahahah omg I GOT MY NEW HAIRCUT AT KIMROBINSON!!!!!
IT IS HOTT! ahhh i LOVE IT! sry i dont have a piccy...will try to get one soon aye. but yes!!! my hair is GORGEOUS!!! hahha so excited bout it.N my hairstylist was sooo cute! lols.
Keith Lai. from Korea i think. looks Korean. n Super cute. he was like hi im Keith u are? i was like HUH? his accent is SO strong. but yea. I LOVE MY NEW HAIR!!!
hhahahahahaah. lol they thought i was 17...oopsies. do i look that old?!

haha i think Keith is gay...he was like i layered your hair in two layers. so that when u flip your hair u would have a nice effect. i was like OMG! hahah so cute! haha n he also told me that i should blow dry my hair cuz if i leave it to dry natrually, it'll get frizzy! ahh gotta blow dry...
so yea. most guys there were GAY. ugh. but hey. gay guys r hott. mum n mei's hairdresses were all sooo cute too. i think my mum loves her stylist. his name is Lauruance i think. from UK. my mum got his card. n a 30% off with him in the future. haha coolcool. Keith gave me his card too. Thats how i know his name. but anways. conclusion is. ALL MALE HAIRSTYLIST, GAY OR NOT, ARE CUTE! hahahaha. SORRY joel...

but anyways. my sis got me The Body Shop lip balm! omg it smells AMAZING! haha. its Born Lippy in Raspberry. Nice. Thx Mei!

oh. yea i think my mum will freak when she finds out that me n my sis shaved our legs...oops. hahah yea we bought those cream thingys. it was SO cheap! like $7? damn cheap, n good. my legs feel so raw now...yea n they look shiny. hahhaha.

hmm. i honestly dont have much to blog bout today...really. haha but yea. today was sorta an exciting day for me. haircut was awesome. haha cnt get over my new hair!!
okok i think im getting boring...longwinded.
shall take my FABULOUS leave nowww. hahah

Hair Flip. Check!
XxX

Think about it....

2009-05-15T20:30:00.002+08:00

Round the roses we go.

Today today today. wow. so much happened.

1. Went out with jer n jo! yay. miss jer loads man. havent seen him in AGES. good to hang out with him again...

2. i got my new skl baggg. haha yea. it is HOTT. nice n CHEAP!!! $15 haha where m i gonna find such deals without jer man. THX JER.

3. i got in slight trouble with my mum....ooopss.. yea cuz i was supposed to be home by 3.30 today so my grand dad can send me to tuition n blah...but instead. stayed till like 4.30 n headed there myself. yea mums not happy. but it think she'll be ok. cuz i did what she wanted AFTER that. hahah. and cuz my science results are SWEETTT. hahah

4. as u read, lol. i got my science results back. YAYIES! i got 26/30. how awesome is that?! hahahah. but. i got my eng back too...it was shizz man. 8/25. UGH. hopefully my essay will pull me up. but have a feeling it wont...ugh. sucks

ok numba 5. -the HIGHLIGHT of today. Charmaine, my tuition friend from MGS, was telling me how one of her school mates commited suicide...yups. that girl is the same age as i am. nobody knows WHY ON EARTH she would take her life...but yups. most ppl just say its due to stress n BLAH. ugh. i just think its a pity...no way i would EVER want to take MY LIFE. sigh...the world is just one effed up bitch aint it.

its sad how things would end like that for that girl...
Everyone deserves the right to live. yes it is her choice but wouldnt it have been prevented if she was given some attetion.
i would cry for her.
jer said-just remind yourself, we strive to what we want and dont look back in anger and fall.
makes sence aye. hahah thats jer.

anyways. just spoke to my mum. good news!
1. she's not angry at me. PHEW.
2. she's really impressed with the proposal i wrote for jer n jo.
3. she's happy with my science results! haha YAY.
so yea. guess she's fine. TOLD CHA SO. hahah

hmm. i have nth left to blog bout...but so much happened today...
n i feel so off today. like totally not myself.
but anyways. i should go...

Theres always more behind the picture perfect life.
XxX

Party At My Place.

2009-05-13T19:13:00.004+08:00

Edit;
hey...hm i dunno y im blogging twice today...but yea. just felt like it.
i feel like crap. ok not really. just...i dunno. i feel so mixed up, confused?
wadever, i feel so petty. kinda? ugh. forget it.

what is my problem. i wanna talk about it, but yet i'm afraid?
afraid of what? i really dont know. what ppl will think about me?
heh. you'd think im over that now. but sry. NOT AT ALL.
y do i care so much? its so stupid. even if they do tell me to my face. yea it hurts but hey, who r they to judge.
i can type so much of this, i can give ppl so much advice bout living their own life n yet i cnt even live mine.
it sucks to have to live ur life based on what ppl say or think. n yet, i still do.
yes the people close to me r great, their good friends n all. so y m i still trying to please everyone. i wouldnt say i have like low self esteem. ok maybe i do. but aren't i supposed to be the crazy, confident n gutsy one. different side perhaps? ugh. this is driving me crazy!
you know what, lets forget it.
does it matter?
sadly, it does.
do i care?
looks like it.
does it hurt?
Kinda.

Is it just me, or are things just different now?

Past, present and future, what changed?
-The person.

emme hear you say...

HEY my loves. hahhaha
ok i got LOTS of good news.

1. MY MUM JUST GOT US HAIR APPOINTMENTS AT KIM ROBINSON aka KR+. OMG! hahah this sat. WAYYY excited! ahhh. kimrobinson is like THE hair salon. they style celebrities in Hollywood. yea this is like a franchise. but how awesome is that?!

2. my party is gonna be on the 30th may, my place. pool and bbq party. but not really confirmed yet. need del to make sure n stuff. THEN will we start on the invite list. sadly. wont be too big cuz doubt it would be a good idea. at first wanted 40...but reduced to 20. dont even think i can like FEED 40 ppl....hahah. but anwyays, yes pool party. so casual. FBTs and shirt is FINE. if not bring change/swim suit. so yes. will send out invites as soon as del gets her moms approval. n giok too, actually. haha yea its like a combined bday party. 3 in 1. cool aye. haha.

3. Joel's exams r ending soon! monday.
ok not that soon! but i miss him a TON. even tho i just saw him yesterday...he doesnt seem so well recently, so yea. feel kinda bad. poor baby. but anyways, Cheer up love.

hm ok im outa good news. but hey! its alot for a day. so anyways, bout today. hahah

went to Lido with the girls-Del, Sab, Giok. haha yea went to watch Wolverine. it was scary. gory. but sweet too. haha it was nice. good movie. Hugh Jackman is Smexy Shizz. so is TAYLOR KITSCH(Remy LeBeau) and TIM POCOCK(Scott Summers). omgggg. HOTT. hahah.
sorry Joel. dont be jealous yea. ;P

haha anyways. WTF luh del. DONT ATTACK MEEEE.
HAHHAHAHA omg. today. was. HILARIOUS! haha me, del, sab n giok wete talking bout 17 Again today. yea the part where Maggie tries to hook up with Zac. yea. haha how she growls n 'play games with him' haha. it was spastic. for some reason. giok n del started picturing me...as maggie. LIKE WTF!! haha sabby started imagining as well...yea SHE SPAT WATER ALL OVER HERSELF. like wtf damn GHAY!!! haha. but anyways, i m INSULTED. bitches. haha. 1. I DO NOT GROWL. 2. I M NOT A SLUT! 3. I have more of a life than to case after a guy LIKE THAT!! it was like super spastic luh. but ZAC IS HOOTTTTT.

haha Jo, so sry, this whole post is like bout guys...yea. sry! dont be jealous kay. c'mon their NOT REAL! n u know i'll always love u. MWAH.

ok i guess im done for today. gonna call jo now, know how he doesnt like me on the com while on the phone with him. ESP. today. he seems...i dunno. emo? haha okok. i have to goooo.

I could so get used to this.
XxX

FREEDOM!

2009-05-12T19:01:00.002+08:00

Leave your mark.

OMFG!!! I AM FINALLY FREE!
hahah yayies!!!!
omg i m like damn happy luh. im finally done! phew. what a relief. but when the results come back...i dont think it'll be pretty...cross my fingures n hope for the best.

hahah so anyways,
today after paper went to Vivo with del and giok. haha brought change n blah. walao that del ah. she is soooo afraid to get into trouble. just cuz Ong with there. she like didnt dare step outa the toilet. like WTHHH. so anyways. me n giok had to go first. ugh.

but yea. haha sabby just called me. she was like somebody left skl in a tank top. uh like big deal? i was like um yea so? she was like word travels. fast. i was like DUH I KNOW.

but back to Vivo. so yea. Met joel and bryan there. haha yea. watched 17Again!!! OMG!!! HOTTEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT! love the part where zac started crying. og soooo sweettt. i almost cried myself. awww. haha

so yea the movie was quite long...2hrs...del n giok had to go after that, so me n jo walked around a bit. haha. today was fun luh. was fun. ;)

omg i am soo glad im like finally free. theres sooo much i wanna do!!!
ok lets list it.
1. Watch 90210, GG
2. Watch all the movies i missed out on.
3. Go back to baking. haha miss it.
4. THROW MY PARTY!!!!!!!!!! ahhh hahaha so excited.
5. Shop till i drop with bday money.
6. spend more time with Joel. <3

hmm nice list aye. haha lets see if i can complete it by June Hols. cuz i would be heading to HK soon after...ahh. i dont wanna go... i finally have my life back! i miss my ol' interesting life! phew. i sence it starting up again..hahahah. hmm. i dunno y but suddenely i wanna learn guitar. haha weird. but listening to ppl play really interests me...either i go for guitar lessons. or get Joel to teach me some stuff on the Drums!! ahahah. good idea. shall ask him ltr. hahaha my mum just came in n ask if i went out with jer today. HAHA wth NO. but speaking bout jer. haha i miss him a ton man. havent had my share of quirkiness is a long while. hahaha jkjk. but his cool luh. we should all hang out someday. how bout the 19th? hmm. n we, i mean me, del, jo n jer! OMG. giok showed me n Joel a SUPER nice song!!! omg i m in love with it!!!! haha its so sweet. almost cried... here it is.

Okok i have to go for dinner. hungry.
Enjoy the lovely song n will get back to u guys soon.

You left your mark.
XxX

Morning...

2009-05-11T10:54:00.003+08:00

Music keeps the memories alive.

Morning my dears. this is the first time im blogging so early...
yes Joel gave me a wake up call at like 8 today...but wanted to slp another 30mins so only got up at 8.30. but anyways. haha was on the phone with him till like 10...

ANYWAYS. i have 1MORE DAY OF EXAMS. OMG! yayyyy.
math. haha im like supposed to be studying now.
actually i m. but SOMEBODY keeps distracting me. haha

hmm im so bored. im in a blogging mood but have no idea what to blog bout...
oh yea. haha i got some lip smackers. finally. haha
my aunt got some for me from hk. haha Fanta...weird but hey. tastes great.

ugh ok i really dont have anymore toblog bout. life's been BORING. ahhhh.

okok. will blog again when i got more interesting stuff.

This reminds me of you.
XxX

Happy Birthday to ME!

2009-05-08T20:00:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.

Hey u guys! hahah

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FABULOUS BIRTHDAY WISHES!!

Haha today was cool! Had lit. ok i guess.
Went to starbucks with dek n giok after lots of persuasion ;P
haha camwhored like CRAZY. lol all the angmohs were like staring...
haha went to bk toilet to cam whore more cuz dell wanted to experience bk toilet. haha but the pics r damn nice! LOL
went home, had tuition. blah. now i m exhausted! i come online to see 60 facebook notifications telling me how many ppl left msgs on my wall. haha THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! Love yas!

im so tired. n kinda stressed. sigh...what a birthday. i cant believe it. im 14. cool.
i dunno y but today somehow seems so normal. just that LOTS of ppl wishing me. guess nobody has time to party n have fun when exams r still going on. haha nvm. will celebrate with my girls on tues! omg im so tired...

okok i have to go.

Thank you all for making today special
XxX

Edit;
Hey u guys. looky! haha mummy bought me that huge meringue! i look old here...im 14. wow.haha.

In&Out!
Mwah!

Ignorance is a bliss.

2009-05-07T15:46:00.003+08:00

You love me, you like her.

hey omg i m so relieved. for one, i got chinese over and done with!! Whoooo~
second. 4 down, only 2 more to go!!! yayies

Chinese was ok i guess. not bad not bad. but still. sure fail.
Sci was EASY. so glad man.
Hist...ugh it was a killer. damn scared. it was HARD. super...

anyways. tmr is lit. then tues is math. HANG IN THERE BABES!

cnt believe ittt. haha yes for those who don't love me enough to rmb...haha jkjk
yes! tmr is my birthday!! haha im turning Fabulous Fourteen but as i like to call it. Rebellious Fourteen. ;P doesnt rhyme but hey. applies aye. hahaha okok

anyways, i should be studying lit. i suck at lit. n still i wanna take pure lit next year. spastic.

i feel emo. ok not very but the thought is there...nagging that i should have got off my smexy ass n do wadever i wanted to. but what use is it. its passed tense. so yea. ignorance is a bliss if u guys havent yet found out for urselves.

talking to bryan, i kinda realise how...rebellious i m? how much i crave freedom. how much i loathe restrictions. good thing bad thing? i dunno. u tell me.
im always all about drama, gossip, bitching, just like what u see in GG or wadever. is it a good thing? does it kinda make me who i m today? maybe. probably. no idea.

Rebel, Rebellious, Rebellion.
XxX

Before i go my own way, I just gotta say...

2009-05-04T16:11:00.004+08:00

Watch where u step.

Hey.
omg i could so kill her! who does she think she is. honestly she has so gotta learn her place. what makes it like 10 times worse is the fact that shes a bloody JUNIOR. my SIS'S FRIEND N CLASSMATE. omfg. that drives me crazy. she acts like she's some big shot that can get any guy she wants. well she got any guy she WANTED cuz they were all despo NSKs with NO LIFE n NO TASTE. ugh im so pissed at her. not this time my friend. she cnt have it this time.
ugh she's sooo annoying. she tries to find out SOOO MUCH from my sis, n obviously, how would my sis know, she told her to ask me. n guess what. she doesnt have the guts to. like duh. who would even be so busybody in the first place? ugh. even del n sab r not THAT interested. omg.

wadevs. enough of her. the more i type the more pissed i get. n besides. getting pissed doesnt help anything. what we need is action. but wtf do i do? slap her. wow like thats gonna help. so i should take my own advise i gave Cheryl. yups n that is to ignore her...i guess? i nvr really thought i would be in this situation. its so...typical. but yet i nvr thought i would have to fight for what i wanted...

im so sick of the drama...so much has happened this yr. its hard to believe where i came from. who i was and who i m. its so different now. some how, its just as hard to recall how things were before. but i guess i've 'grown'? lame. wadevs. but yea...u should have seen me 2 yrs back. i was that innocent lil girl that had no idea how the world went round...i guess things have changed, i have changed, for the better.

moving on.

If u guys forgot, my bday is on friday! yay. but omg. i feel so old now! im like 14. a year closer to 40. ugh. but anyways, my mum n uncle surprised me with a bday celebration ytd. yea like just family but anyways, yea it was nice of them. it was really cool. oh n my dad. too practical. didnt know what to get me, gave me cash instead. like LOL.
n my uncle. THE BEST. says if for my bday party its a small enough crowd, he'll get me a night at the Regent Hotel. how awesome is that?! ahhh but that means i cnt invite my guys...
hmm sounds exciting but i dunno...lets seeeeee!

i should be studying. im FOR SURE gonna fail Chinese. its like a obvious. non spoken fact. wadevers. might as well go study my other subs.

Tar my darlings.
XxX

1 down, 5 more to go.

2009-04-30T17:08:00.004+08:00

I miss you more than ever.

Hey...omg had my English papers today. OMFG it was Hard. yea n guess what i stupidly wrote about. The Gift-of forgiveness. like omg how screwed up is that?! ugh. it was basically bout how i made a great mistake. went to a alcohol party. got arrested. begged my parents n friends n blah for forgiveness. and in conclusion. the greatest gift i have received is, the gift of forgiveness. how cliche. wadevs.

omg i cant wait for it all to be OVERRRR. so tired. dont even feel like studying.

anyways, im hanging out with Joel, Ryan and Cheryl on the 18th. haha double date! sounds fun aye. cnt wait for the 12th man. thats when everything ends. ugh. finally.

ugh i dont feel like blogging. im so sry!

will try to blog soon.

Sabby will smash your face. haha i cnt forget sabby's new expression.
XxX

2nd Month Anniversary!

2009-04-27T21:35:00.003+08:00

I love you...so much.

Hey my loves! haha today is me n Joel's 2nd Month!!! omg how cool is that. but anyways, he is awesome. love yas.

today...had quite a long day at skl....
went to tangling with giok. had lunch. met joel there.
went to queenstown library to study sci and hist...ughhhhh. i hate MYEs.

i have math mock papers to finish. BY TMR. oh my effing god.
wadever. i dont feel like blogging much. mum is being annoying.

2 down, many more to go.
XxX

Life. Is. AMAZING!

2009-04-24T21:18:00.002+08:00

Living the dream.

OMG!!! hey babes! life is SO awesome now. Reasons why i LOVE my PERFECT life:

-i scored well for my hist test. 6/7! yayies.
-IM MOST PROBABLY GETTING LIP SMACKERS!!! AHHH! SO EXCITED!
thx to mummy!!! i heart mummy!
-things r just going so well for me, with my friends, family.
-im gonna turn 14 in like 2 weeks! omg thats so cool.
-Monday the 27th would be me n joel's 2nd month! yay omg! time passes sooooo fast.
-last but not least, i have an awesome boyfriend. i [heart] Joel!

I seriously love my life. yea i know u ppl probably just think im being superficial or think too highly of myself. but hey who else but myself would be able to judge. its my life after all. im really really happy, im so lucky, i nvr thought life would be this great. im like super grateful. omg...

i seriously cnt believe it. its like living a dream...but u know what they say, good things nvr last. so well i guess i should treasure what i have more than ever now.

anyways, enough bout that, im helping Joel do his proposal for his haunted house...omg its hard! im like slightly more than half way through...his going for a asylum theme. its a mental hospital for those who have no clue what a asylum is. so if u guys have any suggestions at all. pls feel free to tag!

oh. my. god. sci was HUMILIATING!!! ahhh haha. omg cnt believe it luh. do these ppl think im a SLUT?! uhhhh. well in case you dont know what happened.
this is how it went:

Mr Teo: So please be careful when you guys have sex when your older. don't get HIV and trust ur partner n blah.(wasnt really listening...)
Mathilda: yea so Fang Min be careful.
Class: *turns to me n starts laughing their asses off*

OMGGGG sooo bloody humiliating luh! luckily Mr Teo was too blur to catch that. uhhhhhh. i was blushing. like MAD. omg.

ugh. nvm. moving on, del n sabby r such violent perverts!!! they kaboomed my boobies like 4 times today!!!! ugh i was hurting...big time man. haha their soooo mean!

OMG. we got our class T today. i only have one thing to say. HIDEOUS!!! omg! i sooo wanna get a new one. i dont really care bout the cost...but since im going to hong kong n ltr china with my mum to do her sourcing n factory visits, might as well offer to get it done there. it would look so much better. n soo much cheaper it will be too. just might take time for the shipment to come in.

haha oh yea. have u guys seen my note on facebook? the SUPER long one that has like 175questions? yea haha that quiz, is soo made for me. it practically REVOLVES round my daily life, friends, significant other and so on...scary...its like somebody specially made it for me to fill it up...
oh yea speaking bout fb...my mum has a spy on facebook. yes. i know. freaky. she updates my mum on me n my sis's facebook statuses. like what time im online till. who im friends with and what my fb status says. OMFG. i gotta be careful what i put on fb now...ugh.

reminds me, if i do get my lip smackers, i would DEFFINATELY start a blogshop so all my babes could get them too! see im so nice. i share my good stuff. haha

okok once again. long post...even i m turned off my MY OWN post...haha i hate reading lonngggg stuff.

I will never let go.
XxX

Omg i've been so busy!

2009-04-22T18:18:00.002+08:00

Never leave my side...

Hey, omg today was a really stupid day...haha yea like seriously...

i got chased after by a dog while cheering Sandra on running her 2.4 retakes. but yea now i have a phobia of BIG dogs...ugh. y me of all ppl man. ugh

oh and cuz my granddad hurt his foot again, mum wanted me n my sis to take an MRT to commonwealth n get him to fetch us from there...being SLIGHTLY nearer n all. wadever i thought it was a utter waste of time. but anyways, me n my sis went to Redhill MRT to get some bubble tea and so waited at the bus stop for 111 to come cuz it goes direct to commonwealth, but. aafetr waiting for like 20 mins. 111 didnt come. y. well cuz IT DOESNT GO THERE. omg i was like damn pissed at myself luh. so anyways, being the smart ass my sis is, decided we should walk back to skl to catch 111 to go home. after walking like half the distance, we kinda noticed we CAME FROM AN MRT STATION! like wtffff haha i feel soooo stupid!!! omg luh. ugh. SLENGER.

omg im going to die. im sucking in skl. UGH. i should be studying for my math test. like now. ugh ok. im gone. sorry for the short post loves...

I am hungry.
XxX

SCREAM.

2009-04-19T16:41:00.002+08:00

ARGH. im just so bloody pissed off. at life. at how things r just CRAZY. at how i have lost myself to the fast and uncontrollably overwhelming world. y cnt ppl just UNDERSTAND that i need my own space. i dont need my parents BREATHING DOWN MY NECK and neither do i need friends bitching bout me or spreading crap bout me. further more...u...

i just wanna live my life. i just want some time alone.

Im begging you...
PLEASE, just understand. That things are hard for me. That i m a human too, not just some thing that will always be there or will nvr change.

So soryy haven't been posting much...

2009-04-17T21:07:00.004+08:00

Love Letters.

Hey loves. omg so sry havent been blogging for like ever. ANYWAYS.

im so happy with this week! managed to hang out with Joel TWICE! Yayies. haha...but omg...exams r coming! sad...

okok lets see. what did i do this week...
wed i went out with him. haha went to Queensway too get my FBTs and Anchor point to get lunch n stuff. hahahah.
thurs had cca. ended quite early but had to wait like an hour for mum to come. ugh.
today! went out with him. skl ended at like 12.30. stayed in skl till like 1.30 to wait for del to finish her art before heading to Newton to meet Joel and Richard, his friend. went to vivo. wanted to watch 17 Again! omg. but NO. there was no timing...but its ok...next time. then went to the staircase again. haha. it was still fun. but mum wanted granddad to fetch me to tuition so...i had to go back to skl to go to tuition. ugh was like 10 mins late. haha n joel went to united first. haha he met the girls. sad bryan wasnt there. omg n i was like bloody paranoid bout mum. ugh. but nth happened.

oh. and today. my sis was telling me how today daddy called and was just talking to her. suddenly he offered to get her an iPhone...yea. n my sis was like its ok. its actually quite over. so true. but anyways, then daddy was like ok. i'll get the three of you something that u want ok. just cnt be too expensive...omg my dad must be having a REALLY hard time...he only does this when he misses us like crazy...
he has been to work in hk before...once, for no apparent reason, bought me n my sis 2 VERY EXTRAVAGANT barbie doll sets. yea an entire wardrobe and a living set. childish i know but i was like 10? but anyways, it was like crazy. he also got my mum a beautiful bouquet of flowers...yea thats how my dad is when he is 'depressed'. so yea...my gosh...poor daddy.

anyways. oh yea. i forgot. Cheryl drew a really cute pic of me n joel! haha its ADORABLE!! haha here it is!
SO CUTE! thx Cheryl!

hmm so much happened this week! haha omg. n lots of drama too. ugh im getting sick of all this drama. a pinch thrown in here n there makes like interesting but having it BACK TO BACK is so not cool. ugh. here theres somebody talking bout me. there theres somebody bitching bout me. ugh. Do they even know who i m. maybe as so n so's friend. or some girl in Crescent. still, they cnt bitch bout me, i probably dont even know them! ugh.
who do they see me as.

omg tmr! RGPS Indoor Sports Hall opening!!! YAY! im so going! wonder whose going tho...

oh btw, my mum said i could have a party after the exams for my bday! yay. probably gonna be the last week of skl. before i go to hong kong...but omg so excited! Everyone is invited! cnt wait. but cnt decide, should it be pool, bbq or costume party...? hm.

okok this post, is once again. getting long. n Joel is kinda waiting for me to finish...
Sorry took so long love!

Hold me close
XxX

Dad is back in Hong Kong.

2009-04-14T08:43:00.001+08:00

*PROCRASTINATING!*
Hey. daddy just left today. uh-huh. anyways. ugh im procrastinating sooo much!! i just HATE studying so much. esp. chinese. uuhhhhh. math is still ok but wonder y miss loo says im slacking...omg. what did i do wrong?!
i gotta buck up or she'll call my parents. like wtf. ugh. i do my work, i pass it up, i score fairly well. what is wrong?! ugh.
is it cuz i nvr fill up content page...haha im being lame.

Anyways, i hardly got any work done like the entire day. ugh.
hahaha im readind www.fmylife.com haha wth bloody funny luh. check it outtt.
hahahaha jer gave me this webby. i heart it! haha.
its sick tho. but reaaallllyyyyy fuunnnyyyyy.

omg im not in a blogging mood. i miss joel. ugh.

hahahahaha i got some thing damn sick but REALLY funny to tell del. but i scared she scold me. haha n im still contemplating cuz its kinda private...how. cuz i know she would be like "ewwww. hahahaha fang min!" so typical. ;P

Scandalous Humour.
XxX

Dad is back. Hell just got worse.

2009-04-10T15:14:00.002+08:00

I wanna be who I am.

UGH. i hate my parents. i got scolded twice within the less than 24hrs my dad has been back. UGGHHHH. my parnets are soooo UNREASONABLE! they want to bring us to Hong Kong for my ENTIRE june hols! UGH LIKE WTF! I M NOT GOING. 2 and a half weeks is already long enough. i only have like less then 2 weeks left to spend with my friends and now they wanna take EVERYTHING away. they dont allow me to go out when skl reopens and they STILL wanna take the hols away. ITS LIKE INDIRECTLY KILLING ME, TAKING AWAY MY SOCIAL LIFE. UGHHHH WTFFFFFFF. UGH. they're so full of SHIT. i feel like screaming.

wadever. parents are only ONE factor of my life. when i turn 21, they no longer own me.

I wish i was older...but that would mean having to sacrfice what i already have now. i love my life, i love how things r(except my parents) now. friends, love, things r so close to perfect. maybe even the closet i would ever get to perfection. i would never want to change anything.

but with an awesome social life, comes a rough time with my parents. just cuz now that i have a life n that im no longer a loser-no offence. they HATE me. scolding me for like EVERYTHING. c'mon. im my own person. i lead my own life! they should get their hands of it and respect the fact that im no longer a kid.

anyways. enough ranting. im just so frustrated at my parents right now.

Changes are not only for the better.
XxX

DAVID WAS SOOOO HOTT!

2009-04-08T10:51:00.002+08:00

Annoy the hell outa me.

Hey OMGGGG. AHHHHHHHH. david was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo hott! omgomgomg. hahaha

it was AWESOME. he only sang like 4 songs tho...sad but omggg his sooooo sweetttt n cutteeee. ahhhhhh his. eyes. are. omg. GORGEOUS! like wow. Emerald green! omggg.
btw, i got his autograph! yay!!

okok sry for the lil freak out. anyways,
ytd was sooo fun. after skl, went to barker to meet joel, went to united to get my cd, went straight to Iluma. waited there for about 3 hrs...haha. it was fun luh...but...joel hates crowds like that...n he was kinda emo the whole time cuz HE LOST HIS PHONE. like wtf right. but yea he managed to cancel the line n blah but he lost all his contacts n etc. sad. poor baby.
but its ok! SMILE LOVE! at least u got ur sim card back right...

anyways, back to last night. after all the screaming n blah my throat hurt like crazy, i was partially deaf...yea n wanted to go for dinner but before we even started mum called n started being a bitch. like wadevs. totally ruined my mood. ugh. anyways. got home pretty late, mum frekaed out some more. was a bitch some more. ugh like what is wrong with her! its like she's on PERMANENT PMS ok. ugh.

im in skl now. mr poons not here n im bloody cranky like anything. UGH. stupid del made me n sab stay back for recess just cuz she had to finish cuz she REFUSED to go to the canteen to do. ugh. bloody pissed off luh. im just sooooo cranky. like omgggg. pmsing much. i feel like killing somebody.

Scream.
XxX

Edit;

omg i forgot to mention. i met some of Sherwynn's friends ytd at the cd signing...UGH i hate how small the world is. they were like omg r u fang min. n oh ur Vincent's ex right. ugh. like insulting much? like seriously. can the world get any smaller. ppl i dont know, know me. in a not so flattering way as well. its ANNOYING. knowing some one with a big mouth is equivalent to knowing everyone else in that persons class or even, skl. i seriously hate how small it is. omg...its just not fun anymore. since u already indirectly know or heard of everyone, its not as fun when meeting them anymore. especially when they already heard or know u. ugh.

ok enough whining.
Shut Up.
XxX

Mummy's back, so is hell.

2009-04-06T08:24:00.002+08:00

Chocolate smeared lips.

Hey my loves! hahaha! yup...my mums back...ugh. but at least she got us LOTS of stuffs!! jeans, clothes, H&M, VonDutch, Uniglow, Skin Food n blah. n she got me my fav lip balms! yay. but she didnt get lip smackers! ugh. sad but nvm...

btw, my parents are thinking of flying down to Hong Kong n China on the 30th. just as the holiday is beginning...for about 2 and a half weeks. which is soooo loonnggggg. the longest i've been away if 2 weeks n i was homesick like CRAZY. now u want to take me away for 2 and a half?! omggg. n im gonna miss love soooo mucchhhhh. uhh.

im kinda in chinese class now...yea but laoshi is not here so yea. supposed to do some asignment but dont feel like. i'll do it at home...;P

anyways, i baked cookies on sat for my loves! haha yups n omg u have no idea how fast my sis n bro consumes cookies...i got no more left...haha.

omg im not in a blogging mood. thats y each para is like 1 sentence. ugh.

i have high cholesterol. i still cnt believe that. i have high cholesterol. omg.

oh yea. just rmbed. Joel played Love Story for me on the piano! haha his SOO sweettttt omgggg. hahaaha. aww thanks love! haha speaking bout him...haha guess what i found out~
haha i now know that Yolanda, Valetta's older sis, gave him a REALLY stupid nickname!! haha i dont think i shall type it here. ltr he accuse me of killing his social life. ;P

ok i think i should go cuz after this i have LSCEP and i havent even finished the design yet!

Sexy...
XxX

Birds And The Bees.

2009-04-03T22:14:00.001+08:00

Be my Superman.

HAHAHA omg. we just had our sexual reproduction in humans class with Mr. Teo today.

It. Was. HILARIOUS!

he wouldnt stop BLUSHING!!!
hahaha. damn funny luh.
he was like i'll try to answer all your questions but im not an expert. *BLUSHBLUSHBLUSH*! HAHAHA omggg.
he was sooooo shy about it omg. i know its weird that his a guy n all...awkward yea totally. but his like soooo embarrassed. omg. nvm. poor mr teo. kinda pity him. but his really nice. hahaha.

Anyways, went to the doctors today...yea mum downgraded me. hmph. no longer have my usual doctor. his really nice. but he looks like...NVM.
yea the doctor said my cholesterol is up...higher than my previous blood test...n yea she decided to stop my meds. ugh. y? i took it for so long already. if i stop n take a new one its just gonna take TWICE as long...annoying. but yea. high cholesterol. nvr thought i would have that...but its not my fault. stupid meds that work. haha. so now i gotta try n lower it. haha it was soo stupid luh. she was like oh to lower it u have to go on a very strick diet. then when she got on the phone with my mum, my mum was like oh she already is. she doesnt take junk food n blah. n the doctor was like wth. haha. ok so no more macs with sab. i dont even go that often. n my mum said to take lots of celery. yay. i love celery. weird i know im kinda crazy. most ppl hate them...i guess im just SPECIAL. haha jkjk. anyways. i feel like a vegetarian now...i cnt eat lots of stuffs....but nvm. most of them i dont eat anyways. :D

I MISS SWIMMING!
ugh. the pool is LITERALLY GREEN. im SERIOUS. its like THAT colour ok. ommggg. i wanna go swimming! im loosing my tan already! ugh. annoying ppl wont fix it. damn.

i wanna bake cookies tmr. hm. should i? do i have time?? but i want chocolate chip cookies...yummy! :D hmm. will see first. if i finish my tuition stuffs n math...

haha i havent posted such a long post for such a long time...haha maybe cuz im always busy talking to joel at night. but his busy today. watching a movie with his dad. yups. so im taking this oppotunity to catch up with my awesome readers. haha.
btw, thanks u guys for reading! i know my blog can be so long winded n boring...but yea.

okok theres lots more to blog bout. but. i dunno dont feel like blogging anymore. and the size of this post is turning me off. even i wouldnt bother reading SUCH a long post...;p

okok i shall go finish up my math so i can bake cookies tmr!

Fly me away.
XxX

Dissapointment...

2009-04-02T19:50:00.003+08:00

sadsad.

hey omg...cca election results were out today...uhhh
i didnt get 2nd vice. nope. i got sec 2 lvl mnger. omgggg. im like sooo super extremely omgly DISSAPOINTED! i reallyyyy wanted that post. omgggg. ok nvmmm. something is better than nth.
at least im even part of the commity.

nvm...sigh. i got soo much on tmr...
lit test after skl till 2.30.
doctors appointment from 2.50 to dunno when.
tuition from 5 to 6.45...
sigh another long day...

n omg im sooo tireed these oast few days...haha stayed up with joel studying. his such a sweetie omg. was just out with him yesterday, yups. he gave me the CUTEST keychain ever. u kno wthose guy+girl kind. yups i kept the guy n he kept the girl. i hung mine on my wallet. n u have no idea how many comments i recieved. from del, sab, giok, nic, n lots of other ppl. haha its just sooo cute! n goes so well with my sexy wallet. hahahaha. thx love!!!
oh n we exchanged PE shirts. haha i know weird but i LOVE the acs one. its soooo sexy! i Heart It! haha.

okok i gotta gooo. on the phone with love nowww.

Sexy...
XxX

Got My Phone Back. Yays.

2009-03-31T16:18:00.003+08:00

Yayies.

Hey! haha yayies! got my phone back yesterday. haha but for some annoying reason, my contacts, mgs and themes are all gone! Ugh. so gotta slowly get back my contacts...uh...at least i found lots of super cute themes last night...haha

omggg. my back aches like CRAZY. ugh. i stuck on like 3 of those mucles relief patches kay...
must be from Napfa yesterday...i did like 18 inclines. haha n i gained new respect from renee. ;P

there soo much hw. n im procrestinating so much...sigh...

haha i have no idea why im typing like that today...everythings in point form.

anyways, haha i just asked joel for his skl PE shirt. the singlet one. haha i think its hott luh. must remind him to get the SMALLEST size. haha its huge ok. oh n he asked me to get him OUR CGS PE shirt in exchange. haha yups. getting L for him. cuz duh. i wear M. but yet again...xL might be a better fit. haha okok i dunno. will ask him again.

hmm got lots of hw...so i better go.

Aching...Owwww.
XxX

1 Month!

2009-03-28T15:33:00.003+08:00

If this ain't love, I don't know what love is.

Hey my sexy loves! haha omg im SO glad i got my super long yesterday done n over with. BUT yesterday was me n Joel's 1 Month anniversary! haha i love u baby!
oh. n my granddad is effing pissed at me...yups cuz last night joel was being a sweetie and wanted to surprise me. after my talk he came to my skl n wanted to take me out BUT NO. my annoying paranoid and insecure granddad said NO. like WTF. ugh. but wadever the worst part is still the fact that he wont let go of it. ugh he has been nagging at me since last night. bout how i shouldnt have so many friends how studies are most important and that i will get knocked up n be a failure in life. in other words. he doesnt want me to have a life. he wants me to be a LOSER. no offence. ugh. not gona talk bout it anymore.

yesterday was just CRAZAY. drama was ridiculously stupid. tuition was unproductive n tiring...n lastly the talk was knda boring at least i figured wad i wanna take next yr. double science with lit core and ss with either geog or hist.

i miss joel so much...his SUCH a sweetie...cnt mummy n daddy see that. sigh only if they did. things would have been SOO much easier.

ok i better go. i got homework...alil. n 2 tests to study for...

I will always keep loving you.
XxX

Np Bitch.

2009-03-26T08:52:00.003+08:00

EXTRA MUCH.

OMFG. thx NP bitch.
she friggin scolded me this morning euch.
n took away my sexbands. UGH. like wtf is her problem! luckily i have extra. ugh. so glad i didnt wear them all at once. MSG didnt even bother yesterday....extra arsz.

moving on. ugh. i wanna change my blog skin! but im kinda lazy...its soo tedious...
hmm okok n i wanna change my pic too...

WADEVS.
XxX

Sleepy...

2009-03-24T19:03:00.002+08:00

Cornelious Pursy Juno.

Hey. omg im SLEEPY...
soo tired. what is up with me. i cnt slp at night n i get sooo tired in the day...
I HATE SKL.

i honestly have nth much to blog bout without causing World War 3. or 4. haha im serious.
im just like going OMG U SKANK on the inside. yea i know im a bitch. i only bitch ppl who bitch me.
so. u know who not to mess with. im not pissed off im just annoyed. y does she even bother. honestly. does she not know she is mixing with the wrong crowd? cnt she just stick to her own lil groupie. i dont mess with her life do i. well as they all say. revange is a dish best served cold. so she better watch it and back off before it gest ugluy.

Trust you or trust you not?
hmm i choose to trust you but ppl are talking. what is going on?

omg im like just soo cranky right now. euch.
tmr i have drama.
thurs i got cca-Elections! OMGGG
fri i got drama from 2.30 to 4.30. tuition from 5 to 6.45. talk from 7 to 8 and dinner with joel from 8 to 9ish.
omfggg...friday is gonna be another loonnngggg day...n i really just wanna hang out with joel...
ugh... ok nvm.
sat im supposed to have a lil gathering at my place...dunno if parents allow tho...since their away n all...
anyways, inviting joel, del n jer. obviously. sab cnt come cuz she has avril's b-day party.

im still sleepy...
XxX

CamWhore!

2009-03-23T19:48:00.006+08:00

Hey sweets...
hmm sry i havent been blogging much again...
havent really been in the mood...sigh
anyways. haha ch-che-check it out! haha im such a CAMWHORE. ;P

TEDDY!

Sexay

Emo...

Scary...

Kisskiss Kisskiss

haha anyways, hmm. sat was cool. competition was fun. kinda haha made lots of new friends! haha their cool luh tho mostly older than me...n mostly guys or ex-crescentians...
haha wanna guess y so? hmm...HAHA

okok don tease my seniors anymore...;P

after the competition...parents had a bbq party at home...yup daddy invited all his friends n stuff since his 'moving'-sorta, to hong kong...anyways Aiden was over! OMG his the cutest thing EVER! haha n his like SUPER tall for a 9YEAR OLD. haha yups his 9 so joel, sweetie, dont be jealous i still love u more then anything. ;P
haha okok anyways, yea n guess what. HAHA my dad bought him a book! yup guess what the books bout. HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS. yups thats the tittle of the book. written by a frigging 8 yr old boy. now 9. like OMFG WHAT?!?!
but wadevers. IT WAS ADORABLE. it should be like a must have for ALL GUYS. its like a text book on how to act around girls how to impress. how to get the girl. how to get over it. and last but not least, how to choose them...hmmm. HAHA.

ok enough bout sat.
sunday was kinda boring...
parents flew off at like 1. didnt get to send them off at the airport cuz we i woke up too late...hm haha but at least mummy would be away for 2 weeks. how hott is that?! omggg! haha
umm. finished up some homework...went for dance...nth uch after that actually...rushed art in like 10mins. haha! so proud of that. ;P

then today...OMG i just realised how high profiled my life actually is. ppl i HARDLY know are actually TALKING BOUT ME. bout my life, bout me n joel! OMFG. its CREEPY. like ok cuz Joan told Andrea Mai who told sabby that me n joel broke up n made up. LIKE WTF?! where the hell did they get that from. sabby was like SHOCKED. i dont even talk to joan! ommggg. i have to admit it is kinda cool that ppl are talking bout me-kinda superficial...yea i know, but i dont want them to spread things bout me that ARE SO NOT TRUE! ommgg.

ok im starving...
dinner time.

I understand. Really.
XxX

I miss you...

2009-03-20T22:47:00.003+08:00

Take care of my heart-I've left it with you.

Hey...
hmm cnt believe this holiday is already coming to an end...
n i have my I&E competition tmr...nooooo

im so tired...i barely finished my homework...
ugh my god.

anyways, today i went for my blood test early in the morning...yea...stupid.
came home. rushed tuition home work. had piano, rushed tuition homework again. n yea had tuition.
in other words. i had a BORING n TIRING day.

but i shouldnt be complaining...joel has it worst than me...hmm
yea n his parents kinda confiscated his phone!! noooo i cnt talk to him tonight...
hmm i just miss him so much right now...his such a sweetie. i hardly got to talk to him today...
n HIS PARENTS ARE SCARY!

i just wanna talk to him tonight. i feel so manja!!! n whiny...
uhhhhhh.
nvm. hopefuly i can talk to him tmr...

hmm. daddy n mommy are leaving for china n hongkong on sunday.
mommy would be away for 2 wks while daddy for 3-4 wks.
hopefully mommy can get lipsmackers in hong kong...haha
n maybe, just maybe. i can go out with joel a lil bit more...but his sooo busy. n i my curfew is like wad 7pm! uhhh

okok i better go finish up my work...

Baby i miss you.
XxX

Smexy love.

2009-03-18T14:42:00.003+08:00

Hold me. Have me. Kiss me. Love me.

Hey babes! hmm sry havent been blogging much...
anyways, was out with joel yesterday! haha
after drama went for lunch with del, sab, hafizah, amanda n ashlyn yups at shaw house.
watched He's just not that into you with joel! haha its such a sweet movie! haha it was kinda crappy tho. but yea. its just TRUE. haha

okok after movie went to Hort park. haha i know right. what a weird place to go after skl. but wadever. it was reallyyy nice there. the weather was amazing. n it wasnt very crowded as well so yea. it was nice.

joel didnt want to walk much so yea. didnt get to see the other parts of it. but yea guess cuz joel was kinda tired n manja? haha...but nvm. we had tons of fun tho. ;P

omg what is wrong with me...i think im getting insomnia or something. haha i duno! i havent been able to slp well the past few nights...n if i do eventually fall asleep, either someone would come to wake me up or i would have slept half the day away...bad habbit...

i cnt beleive half the holidays are already gone! i BARELY started on my hw. OMMGGG!
okok i better go get started.
peace out loves.

Yesterday...
XxX

PBL Survey!

2009-03-14T22:58:00.001+08:00

PLEASE DO THIS SURVEY
PICKLES WILL LOVE YOU

Awesome day at SENTOSA!

2009-03-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

Life may be a game but somethings aren't.

Hey my sweets! haha today was AMAZING! yups was at Sentosa with joel n ryan! haha but cheryl, ryan's gf and dellas n giok was supposed to come! uhh. wadevs.

but we had a good time. ryan came super late tho. so was only at sentosa at bout 3.30. but anyways. haha we went to the luge! haha yea it was SUPER FUN! haha yups! the ride up was scary tho...i just clung on to joel. haha yea n gripping my flip flops tightly. the ride down on the other hand was awesome! haha yea. but the whole time i was shrieking n shrieking. haha yea n jo n ryan had to slow down to wait for me. n jo wanted no breaks. heh.

yea n went to be the beach after that...yea that place is nice. sunny, windy. haha yea. n guess what. the guys went swimming. yups. ryan couldnt go into the water tho...n neither could i. omg wad a wrong time to get my period. haha but yea...jo has a nice body. like really really. :P

okok enough bout my hott bf. :PPP
hmm. went back to vivo n got jiu to fetch me. yups! thx jiu!
haha i guess mummy n daddy r quite ok now...i dunno. they were't like pissed off or anythig when i got back...

haha okok. im on web cammy with joel! yups.
omg...jerjer. just called him. yups havent spoken to him this whole week. thought he would bitch bout me...

okok i better go. once again im not feeling my bestest...

Thanks.
XxX

Omg the hols are here.

2009-03-13T19:45:00.003+08:00

Sexy kisses.

Hey! haha omg cnt believe the hols r here already! omg so fast...n march hols means mid yrs are coming!! ahh omg that sucks. i so gotta do well...
well yea sry i havent been posting much...kinda busy...n i got nth much to blog bout...

yea just that today i got punked big time by that ROSHINI omg luuhhh. she got chocolate whip cream all over my cheek and sleeve. ommggg. i was smelling like chocolate the entire day! uhhh. GROSS. haha she's CRAZY luh. huh. but yea. today was her bday!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSH!

haha okok moving on. OMG today was such an underachieved day!
me n del went all the to angker point and queensway shopping center...
wanted to get my wallet at billabong outlet but no. they dont have nice wallets. uhh.
went to queensway to get my lome n orange FBTs but no. the shop was closed. n the other one was soo ex. i can get them for $7. n they r selling bout $10-$13. annoying.
saw a REALLY cute bag. but noo. cnt buy it cuz my parents would scold. uhh.

ok nvm...shan't keep complaining...btw, my dad is moving to hongkong...yea...in 2 wks time...
hopes theres lip smackers there. HAHA.

omg speaking bout lip smackers. the girl that hafizah's getting our lip smackers from is no longer taking orders! OMG annoying much! i want my lip smackers!!!
UGH.

NVM. okok i gotta gooo...

You and me.
XxX

Ohh. Emm. Eff. Gee.

2009-03-10T18:29:00.002+08:00

DramaDrama n More Drama.

OMFG i cnt believe its happening...again.
my parents found out...yups. my mum saw us holding hands n now my dad is the one freaking out. i dunno...things r just CRAZY right now...
i dunno what to do. joel wants to talk to them but i really dont. it may just make things worse...

and something happened...yea. i dont want to say anything but i feel kinda betrayed n shocked at the same time. i nvr thought she would actually do something like that. its not like i did anything to her so y? i nvr tried to wreck her relationships with her guys or girls. i nvr butted into her PERSONAL life n tried to be ALL OVER IT. so how can she do this to me. its just not fair. i know i sound like some bratt but seriously. im sick n tired of it. she does it all the time. its just so annoying. n i thought u would at least tell me she said something...
but wadever. all the drama is just killing me. first my parents now this.

i guess this is just one of those times when all i wanna do is to put life on hold n just escape from reality. even if its for the slightest moment. im not gonna care bout what she said anymore. all its doing is driving me crazy n ruining things. y should i care bout what she say, even if she's complaining to the wrong ppl, she's just another jealous bitch.

ok enough drama for 1 post. haha Hafizah is the awesomest! she's getting some lip smackers for me! yay. thanks!!!

i should go. im not exactly feeling my best.

Think about it.
XxX

Today was FUN!

2009-03-08T21:31:00.002+08:00

KissKiss KissKiss.

hey sweets! haha guess what! joel was over at my place for dinner! haha yea. it was really fun. my parents were really nice to host him...
but anyways, met him at Great World City for Marley and Me. haha yea its a super sweeettttt movie! omg...i cried...anyways, went for dance but the stupid instructor didnt turn up...yea...so we were sitting there for bout 40 mins before some lady came in to tell us that there was some misunderstanding. like wadevs. so yea. no dancing for joel...hmph. haha but at least mum n dad let him come over for dinner. yea n celine too...

i dont wanna go back to skllll. omg im so tired. n i didnt do ANY homework AT ALL. ahhh...
NVM.

omg. im suposed to have a lil bbq gathering on the 14th for all my friends n stuff but mum says she's gonna be busy n blah so dont have time to help me... uhhh. im not sure if my friends can make it...hmm..gotta ask them which day they can make it.
moving on.

i dunno y but suddenly i miss joel so much...his such a sweetie.
Love you baby.
Mwah.

okok i better go...

Thanks.
XxX

Missed me?

2009-03-06T22:17:00.002+08:00

Why would you tell me something like that.

HEY LOVES!!!
haha yay im back from cambodia. OMG joel was right. it was TONS of fun! haha.
yea...camwhored BIG TIME with del! haha yups but too lazy to upload the pics. but ANYWAYS

omg we did sooo much. i have no idea how to blog bout EVERYTHING.
mainly the HOTEL n the FOOD was AWESOME!!! haha yea...
nice hotel amazing food. yea it was more of a holiday with ur classmates n teachers than a cip trip...

anyways, but the skls were really something...the first orphanage in siem reap was reaaallllyyyyy nice. yea the kids there were awesome. so sad we had to leave so soon....the second skl in phon pehn was crap. the students were arrogant, the skl was quite updated. YOUTUBE. wad do ya think. i saw one of the students using the computer lab on YOUTUBE. i was SHOCKED ok. but WADEVERS. the third skl we went to was in the slums. yups the SLUMS. it was ok luh. smells horrible n tons of flys. gross but the kids were nice...i guess. we could hardly converse. HUGE language barrier. but i still like the orphanage best.

oh we also went to the temples. yups they were AMAZING. really awesome. to think they build n designed it so many years ago...

on the last n first day, we went to museums. yups they were BORING. haha yea...first was Akira Land Mine museum, it was ok luh. they had an orphanage behind the museum JUST for children who r land mine victims. quite cool. n the last day, we went to the genocide museum. IT WAS FREAKY. i ddint even dare step into that place. yups. del just took some pics with my cam for me.

okok i better go upload them now. dels getting impatient already.

Does what you say really matter?
XxX

That was soo sexay. (Off to cambodia tmr)

2009-02-28T16:13:00.002+08:00

Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me. Mwah.

Hey my loves!
i cant believe im flying off to Cambodia TMR!
and im only back on thursday night...
sigh...im gonna miss u guys so much. esp. my love...

anyways, was out with joel yesterday! haha wow i was out 3 times this week with him. cool.
yea, del n i met him at tampanese mall for lunch, del went off after lunch so me n jo headed BACK to bedok reservoir. yea i know. wierd. but we just wanted to sit down some where quiet. it was really nice there. windy n sunny. he is awesome. i love u baby!

okok enough bout yesterday, my throat hurts like CRAZY this morning so my parenst brought me to the doctors. yups n guess what. NOPE i do NOT have mono BUT i have TONSILLITIES! it hurts like CRAZY. uh i cant even swallow. she gave me like TONS of pills n blah.
also brought koko to the vet after that...koko has mites!! ahh my poor baby. she also has TONS of pills to take. u have no idea how hard it us to get a dog to eat meds...dads kinda pissed of he spent soo much money on koko's stuff...yea all the meds costs bout $150...so yea.
the whole hse is kinda tensed right now...

but MOVING ON.
YAY. i JUST finished packing for my trip!! finally...i just gotta go get my highcard n MASKING TAPE!

sigh...apparently ANOTHER drama series has emerged from my dad's side of the family...my second uncle is a LOSER. im sry but really, he is a CHEAP LOSER. he is abusing joel, my youngest cousin from my dads side...something bout wanting a divorce, love affairs n MONEY matters...i really pity my cousins...thier life must suck...speaking bout them, i havent spoken to them in AGES. i miss joel, haha his ADORABLE. his my sis age if im not wrong. goes to a private skl. wtf. anyways, their in Australia...all the best to them. to joel, jessinta n jessica.

okok i better go get my meds.
dont miss me too much when im gone.
and to love, remember to study for ur tests kay...
dont forget ur eye drops n meds too!
Mwah, love u.
XxX

I DO NOT HAVE MONO.

2009-02-26T10:56:00.004+08:00

You bitches are so mean.

hey sweets.
yesterday was jer's b-day!haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JER!

ok anyways, was at Bugis for lunch with joel, jer n jon yesterday. duh, to celebrate his b-day. lol the 3 Js.
yea n i gave him the BOXERS! haha yea. glad he likes them. LOL

okok well sadly have way through lunch love had to gooo. yea his cca. OMG. he got fired from section leader...ahh i feel horrible...its kinda my fault that he is always late for cca...ok not always but often...

anyways. IM SICK TODAY! i got a nasty sore throat. it sucks...uhhh. yea n del n sabby think i got MONO. like WTF! in case u guys have no idea wad mono is. its mononucleosis. a.k.a. Kissing Disease. I DO NOT HAVE MONO! their so mean. UGH.

yea n now its SWEETIE'S CLASS! haha THATS y im blogging. lol
OMG. sabby is OBSERVING his butt again. hahaha she says he wears a G-STRING. like wtf sabby is CRAZAY. but yes. he does have a nice butt. :P

anyways, tmr ios cross-country. how SUCKY is that. uh. gotta run..but daddy said if i still got a sore throat tmr i dont have to run! yay. i'll get them to write a letter.
yea, n im supposed to be hand out with my girls after. but joel wants to hang out too...so how. lunch with the girls n movie with him? i dunno...i'll think of something? haha maybe i'll just get jo to tag along for lunch with us. THEN. watch the movie after. cuz del cant go anyway. so giok n sab can go watch their own movie while me n jo watch ours? giok might get pissed at me tho...

yea n now DEL wants me to massage her neck AGAIN. yea im her FREE personal masseuse yups. she's paying me with love? huur. haha okok i better go help my dada. hmph.

IM NOT FLAT OK U BITCHES. Hmph!
N I DON'T HAVE MONO.
u guys damn bad luhh. like to bully me...uhh. heh. no more massages for u del.

i gotta go shut del n sabby up now.

Bye. I will still keep loving you.
XxX

Kissed.

2009-02-24T20:39:00.004+08:00

All i wanna do is relive every single moment of it.

Hey my love...today was...special...interesting. haha
well. skl was BORING. stayed back for Cambodia briefing n blah. sab.l made us do the spastic CS project after...it was ok luh. didnt spend much time on it so yea. met joel again. yups went to queenstown library to go design jer's b-day prezzie. haha yea. i made jo go buy boxers for us, ok more of me to design on. haha but i had fun luh. sitting there trying to colour in jer's superman logo...HAHA.

okok well...yea. n i got my first kiss today. yea. it was...nice...tho shocking at first. haha i really didnt expect it but yea. u guys honestly dont expect me to type it all out here so yea.

I love you.
XxX

Sick of it all...

2009-02-23T16:07:00.002+08:00

All i wanna do is press the pause button and just hold on to you.

Hey my dears.
finally, no more test for the week. yay. but. cambodia is in 6 DAYS. ahhh. im kinda nervous, scared yet excited n thrilled. mom just bought TONS of treats for the lil children in the skls i would be visiting. cool. haha but she bought ALOT. n still thinks its not enough. like omg n she wants me to ask del if she wants her to buy more for her to give. haha i got no more space...i know my luggage is huge but i still got my own stuff. she also gave me old clothes to bring along with LOTS of soap for the villagers. yes they r that poor. oh yes. n stuffed toys for my lil buddies in the skls. omg right...

okok enough bought my trip...
sigh...im so sick n tired of it all. i really really want to put life on a hold. just like in the movies when everything ends with a happily ever after...
i dont even know y im complaining so much, i got no more test all i gotta do is pack...hmm maybe cuz...nvm.

boy i love you.
XxX