Picture perfect means nothing.

Omg im posting less n less. no its not cuz im getting bored of u guys! heck, i think i'll never get bored of writing. but anyways. i was thinking. n yes i do think. a lot actually. its strange really, not the fact that i do think, but whats been on my mind.

i realised today how many times have i heard(from ppl) or read(in horoscopes n blah) that i'll make a great leader. that im gonna be successful. my parents r always like u have to out in effort, ur an intelligent girl n whatnot. whatever but anyways, m i really that kinda person. that kinda person that will u know, be rich, famous, successful n all that in dreams. of course i want to have the perfect life when i grow up but how many ppl do get it. hardly any. its a strange feeling. the one u get that makes u confident cuz the ppl around u think so highly of u. but on the other hand, the one u get when ur doubtful. that maybe ppl are not seein correctly. that u'll let them down if they think so highly of u. its unlike any other. really. i admit i have been given every opportunity in life, i have been given ,almost, everything i wanted. i know it prolly sounds strange to u guys reading it.

and also, i was talking to my mum recently. she was telling me how her ex boss from Burberry used to be the IT socialite. major parties, crazy nights. sounds fun. then. she also told me how her husband divorced her cuz of her social life. looks like u cnt have it all afterall. it really got me thinking cuz for a while, i wanted to be just like her. awesome social life, superficial friends but popular n all. but then, now that i have to choose between a personal life n that, i really dont know.

del, giok n sabby r always scolding me for being extra, annoying, irritating n whatever. yea i admit i do get put down by their worthless comments. yea i admit it does make me feel left out. make me feel...unbelonging. like...i dunno. its hard to explain. but it feels even worse coming from your bestfriends.

yea n another thing is, they have this strange idea that im 'fake' angmoh. but maybe they just havent realised that it is my family culture. oh n they think i like to act deep. yea i do like to express my feelings. especially on my blog, or any piece of writing for the matter. oh n BTW i have bad spelling cuz as a kid, toddler, whatever. i didnt get those phonic lessons most ppl did. well maybe most ppl dont know that my family wasnt really like this then. its hard to explain really. but yes i do admit. i do have my flaws which my friends tend to enjoy picking on.

point is, i have been thinking on how me n del were picking on sabby for looking like siona wu, sam in fighting spiders. yea she's ugly in real life. but anyways. that made her feel like crap. she got so pissed at us. but, it made me feel good. yes im not a good bestfriend. but i will admit it. i felt good cuz for once she knows how it feels to be put down all the time. seriously. i know its like wtf m i doing posting this. at least i have the courage to admit how i feel, good or bad.

yea sabby will not even bother thinking bout this. telling her that i hate her making fun of me cuz yea it sucks. she'll be like ur so annoying. heh some kind of 'bestfriend'. i really do wonder y she even bothers to hang out with me sometimes. if she hates me so much. ok not hate but at least every one can tell she doesnt like me. EVERYONE knows she hangs with me cuz im the only one she can relate to in the class but seriously. y bother making friends for the sake of it. n del, yea we've been sticking by each other for ages now. but seriously. i know it sounds way stupid. i think so too. but trust me. i have told her it really sucks to be insulted by ur bestfriend. the one u love n trust so completely. yea n guess what. she laughed it off. saying it was sabby n not her. yea thx.

Sleep on it.
XxX

Fangs
That Rebellious 14
Crescent Girls School
A year older and wiser when it comes to the 8th of May
The Charming Tarus
Owns this Blogshop